She almost felt that she was dying then, so desolate and so dreary the
future looked to her. What was life worth without Guy, and why had she
been thrown so much in his way; why permitted to love him as she knew
she did, if she must lose him now? Maddy could not cry; there was a
tightness about her eyes, and a keen, cutting pain about her heart as
she tried to pray for strength to do what was right—strength to cast
Guy Remington from her heart where it was a sin for him to be; and then
she asked to be forgiven for the wrong she had unwittingly done to Lucy
Atherstone, who trusted implicitly, and who, in her last letter, had
said:
“If I had not so much faith in Guy I should be jealous of one who has
so many opportunities for stealing his heart from me. But I trust you,
Maddy Clyde. You would not do a thing to harm me, I am sure, and to
lose Guy now, after these years of cruel waiting, would kill me.”
Sweet Lucy, there was in her heart a faint stirring of fear lest Maddy
Clyde might be a shadow in her pathway, else she had never written that
to her. But Lucy’s cause was safe in Maddy’s hands. Always too
high-souled to do a treacherous act, she was now sustained by another
and holier principle, which of itself would have kept her from the
wrong. But for a few moments Maddy abandoned herself to the bliss of
fancying what it would be to be loved by Guy Remington, even as she
loved him. And as she thought, there crept into her heart the certainty
that in some degree he did love her; that his friendship was more than
a mere liking for the girl to whom he had been so kind. In Lucy’s
absence she was essential to his happiness, and that was why he sought
her society so much. Remembering everything that had passed, but more
particularly the incidents of that memorable night ride to Honedale
with all that had followed since, she could not doubt it, and softly to
herself she whispered, “He loves me, he loves me,” while little throbs
of joy beat all over her heart; but only for an instant, and then the
note of joy was changed to sorrow as she thought how she must
henceforth seek to kill that love, both for her own sake and Lucy’s.
Guy must not come there any more. She could not bear it now, even if
the neighbors had never meddled with her. She could not see him as she
had done, and not betray her real feelings toward him. He had been
there that day; he would come again tomorrow. She could see him now
just as he would look coming up the walk, easy and self-possessed,
confident of his reception, his handsome face beaming all over with
kind thoughtfulness for her, and his voice full of tender concern as he
asked how she was, and bade Flora see that she did not overtax herself,
and all this must cease. She had seen it, heard it for the last time.
No wonder that Maddy’s heart fainted within her, as she thought how
desolate, how dreary would be the days when Guy no longer came. But the
victory was gained at last, and strength imparted for the task she had
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