Poetry -- 20th century -- Periodicals; Short stories -- Periodicals
She let down the glass of the little window and leaned out. The air
was sweet with the smell of the damp winter woods--the trees clustered
like phantoms close to the road--there had been an ice storm, and the
glistening tops of the pines shone in the night like fairy trees in
crystal urns. A few stars were out, big and bright in a sky faintly
blue; as Mrs. Evremond lifted her face to them they seemed to shine on
her as never before. She looked up into the heavens with a childlike
sweetness, and perhaps, in her hope and her goodness, with as pure a
faith as prayer ever carried. She was possibly deserted definitely by
the man she loved. She had been betrayed by him. She had never suffered
in her life as to-day. She could never so suffer again.
We all possess the power to make those who love us suffer just so far.
Evremond had come all at once to the high-tide mark of his limit. He
could never cause her such keen pain again, and he paid the penalty.
She loved him not less but differently, with a tenderness that comes
only when we have ceased to lean--to repose; with a protection that
only comes when we are conscious of weakness; with renunciation that
only comes when we see and accept the destruction of the ideal, the
death of illusion, and take up with courage the reality and embrace it
instead.
“He shall never know that I know,” she murmured, “unless he wishes to.
He has a right to his life; he has a right to love where he likes, not
by law, but because of his nature. If he loves me still, if he wants
to go on as we are, he will make me feel it to-night. I shall know
to-night, and for all our future he shall decide.”
* * * * *
Mrs. Evremond was a methodical woman of reasonable habits, and not
given to tardy wanderings about shops or prolonged absences from her
home. She was on this night very late indeed. The long time Evremond
waited for her confirmed his most unpleasant fears. He had come in
about six and gone to the salon to wait her probably speedy entrance.
Then, with the nervous impatience of a person who had every reason to
dread, and every reason to hope for, the arrival of the expected, he
watched the clock mercilessly mark hour after hour. At eight--never had
she been out so late before--he said, definitely:
“She has left me--there is no doubt about it. She knows everything, and
she never wants to see me again.”
Such a fact as the termination of their married relations, in the most
extreme moments of his interest in another, he had never thought of--he
had never wished for. He had always considered his wife suited to him,
understanding his idiosyncrasies, patient and a pleasant background,
but never had he supposed that the naked truth of the loss of her--or
the risk of the loss of her--would fill him with dismay.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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