"Well, no," answers Byng slowly, and with a slight diminution of
radiance. "I meant to have approached it; I tried to do so once or
twice; but I thought, I fancied--probably it was only fancy--that she
wished to avoid it."
"To avoid it?"
"Oh, not in any offensive, obvious way; it was probably only in my
imagination that she shirked it at all--and I did not make any great
efforts. It was all so perfect"--the intoxication getting the upper hand
again--"driving along in that balmy flood of evening radiance--did you
see how even the tardy sun came out for us?--with that divine face
opposite to me! Such a little face!"--his voice breaking into a tremor.
"Is not it inconceivable, Jim, how so much beauty can be packed into so
tiny a compass?"
Burgoyne has all the time had his brushes in his hand, the brushes with
which he has been preparing himself for his solitary dinner. He bangs
them down now on the table. How can he put a period to the ravings of
this maniac? And yet not so maniac either. What gives the sharpest point
to his present suffering is the consciousness that he would have made
quite as good a maniac himself if he had had the chance. This
consciousness instils a few drops of angry patience into his voice, as,
disregarding the other's high-flown question, he puts one that is not at
all high-flown himself.
"Then you have not told Mrs. Le Marchant yet?"
But the smile that the memory--so fresh, only half an hour old--of
Elizabeth's loveliness has laid upon Byng's lips still lingers there;
and makes his response dreamy and vague.
"No, not yet; not yet! _She_ had taken one of her gloves off; her little
hand lay, palm upward, on her knees almost all the way; once or twice I
thought of taking it, of taking possession of it, of telling her mother
in that way; but I did not. It seemed--out in the sunshine, no longer in
the sacred mist of that blessed wood--too high an audacity, and I did
not!"
He stops, his words dying away into a whisper, his throat's too narrow
passage choked by the rushing ocean of his immense felicity.
Burgoyne looks at him in silence, again with a sort of admiration mixed
with wrath. How has this commonplace, pink-and-white boy managed to
scale such an altitude, while he himself, in all his life, though with a
better intelligence, and, as he had thought, with a deeper heart, had
but prowled around the foot? Why should he try to drag him down? On the
peak of that great Jungfrau of rapture no human foot can long stand.
"As I told you, Mrs. Le Marchant turned me away from their door,"
pursues Byng. "It struck me--I could not pay much attention to the fact,
for was not I bidding _her_ good-night--taking farewell of those
heavenly eyes?--did you ever see such astonishing eyes?--for four
colossal hours--but it struck me that her mother's manner was a little
colder to me than it usually is. It had been a little cold all day--at
least, so I fancied. Had the same idea occurred to you?"
Burgoyne hesitates.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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