the--to him--unnecessary luxury of a bed; and, under ordinary
circumstances, a night passed in the open air would have had an effect
upon him rather exhilarating than otherwise. He has his bath, dresses,
breakfasts, and then jumps into a fiacre, and has himself driven to the
Anglo-Américain.
The day is so exactly the counterpart of its predecessor, in its even
assured splendour, that Jim has a hazy feeling that they both make only
one divided into two parts by the narrow dark blue ribbon of the
exquisite brief night. When did yesterday end and to-day begin? As he is
borne along, his memory, made more alert by sleeplessness,
reproduces--merely, as it seems to him, the better to fill him with pain
and remorse--the different states of mind in which he has passed over
the often trodden ground. Here, at the street corner, what a nausea had
come over him at the thought of the interest he would have to feign in
those humdrum details, so dear to Amelia's soul, of their future
_ménage_, with all its candle-end economies and depressing restrictions.
Here, in the church shadow, how he had tried to lash himself up into a
more probable semblance of pleasure in her expected and dreaded
caresses. There seems to be scarcely an inch of the way where he has not
had some harsh or weary thought of her; he is thankful when the brief
transit, that has appeared to him so long, is over. And yet the change
is only from the sharp sting of recollected unkindness to the dull
bruising ache of anticipated ill. A _garçon_ is sweeping out the
_salon_, for the hour is not much beyond eight, so Jim goes into the
dreary little dining-room, where two places are laid with coffee-cups
and rolls. Only two. And, though he knows that nothing short of a
miracle could have already restored Amelia so completely as to enable
her to come down to breakfast, yet the ocular demonstration of the fact
that her place is and will be empty, strikes a chill to his boding
heart. He is presently joined by Cecilia, whose carelessly-dressed hair,
heavy eyelids, and tired puffy face, sufficiently show that not to her,
any more than to himself has night brought
"Sweet child sleep, the filmy-eyed."
"How fresh and cool you are!" she cries, with an almost reproachful
intonation. "Do not look at me!"--covering her face with her hot
hands--"I am not fit to be seen; but what does that matter? What do I
care?"--beginning to cry--"Oh, she is so bad! We have spent such a
dreadful night! As I tell you, I am a shocking sick-nurse; I never know
what to do; I lose my head completely; and she has been so odd--she has
been talking such gibberish!"
"Delirious?"
"Yes, I suppose that is what you would call it. I never saw anybody
delirious before, so I do not know. I have seen Sybilla in hysterics,
but I never believed that they were real--I always thought that a bucket
of water would bring her round."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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