The whisper in which this monosyllable is breathed is so stamped with a
fear that borders on terror, that his one astonished thought is bow best
to reassure her.
"Not if you do not feel inclined, of course--not unless you like. It can
perfectly well be put off to another time. I can tell him--there will
not be the least difficulty in making him understand--that you do not
feel up to it this morning: that you would rather have more notice."
"But I would not," she says, standing up suddenly, and with trembling
hands laying her work down upon the table, and beginning from dainty
habit to pin it up in its protecting white cloth. "What good would more
notice--a year's notice--do me?"
She turns away from him and fixes her unseeing eyes, glassy and dilated,
upon a poplar tree that is hanging tasselled catkins out against the
sky. Then once again she faces him, and he sees that there are cold
beads of agony upon her forehead.
"Wish for me," she says huskily--"wish very hard for me, that I may get
through it--that we may both get through it--alive!"
Then, motioning to him with her hand not to follow her, she walks
quickly towards the hotel.
It is impossible to him to stay quiet. He wanders restlessly away,
straying he knows not whither. The mimosas are out charmingly in the
gardens, sending delicious whiffs of perfume from the soft yellow fluff
of their flowers. The pinky almond-trees are out too, but not till long
afterwards does he know it.
By-and-by he finds himself strolling, unhindered by a gardener placidly
digging, through the grounds of a villa to let. Gigantic violets send
their messages to his nostrils, the big and innumerable blue blossoms
predominating over the leaves, which in England have to be so carefully
searched for them. Superabundant oranges tumble about his feet; arum
lilies, just discovering the white secret hid in their green sheaths,
stand in tall rows on either side of him; a bed of broad beans points
out the phenomenon of her February flowers to him. He sees and smells
none of them. Have his senses stolen away with his heart into Byng's
bedchamber? They must have done so, or he could not see with such
extraordinary vividness the scene enacting there. He has himself helped
to place it in such astonishing reality before himself. Does not he know
the exact position of the chair she is to occupy? Did not he place it
for her before he went to fetch her? Nor can his reason prevent his
distorted fancy from presenting the interview as one between happy and
confessed lovers. Even the recollection of her features, ghastly and
with beads of agony dewing them, cannot correct the picture of his mind
as he persistently sees it. That she meant, when he parted from her, to
renounce Byng, he has no manner of doubt. But does not he know the
pliancy of her nature? Is not he convinced that the rock on which her
life has split is her inability ever to refuse anyone anything that they
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