She stops, her tale ended, sighing with the inexpressible relief of that
lifted load. Speech from him now would be no interruption--would be
kindly, rather, and welcome. Yet he still stares blankly before him. Why
has she told him that painful tale? Is it that he may carry a more
lenient judgment of her through the rest of his life--that life to be
finally severed from hers? Or is it with some hope that that told tale
may keep him for ever beside her? She does not love him. She loves Byng.
But, as he has often told himself, she is not of the stuff of which
great constancies are made. And, since Byng has forsaken her, whom has
this pliant creature, that nature made so clinging and circumstances so
lonely, left to throw her tendrils round, except him? She does not love
him, and yet in the depth of his heart he knows that, if he wished it,
he could make her love him. Shall he wish it? Shall he stay--stay to
have those exquisite eyes, tear-washed, and yet laughing, watching for
his lightest wish; that tripping step keeping time to his up the hills
and through the valleys of life; that delicate sympathy, soaring with
his highest thoughts, and yet playing with his lightest fancies? Shall
he?
Elizabeth is looking down upon the asphodels, stooping to stroke, as if
it were a sentient thing, a great plumy plant, like a sort of glorified
fennel, out of whose fluthery breast a puissant sheath rises, from which
an unfamiliar flower is pushing. What a fascination there is in this
alien vegetation, in which every shut calyx holds a delightful secret!
Shall he? For himself, he believes her story implicitly, feeling,
indeed, with a shock of mixed surprise and remorse, what a past want of
faith in her is evidenced by his unspeakable relief at its being no
worse a one. But who else will believe it? And the more penetratingly
sweet, the more poignantly dear she is to him, the sharper to him will
be the agony of the eye averted from her, the suspicious whisper, or the
contemptuous smile. Is his heart stout enough, is his courage high
enough, to support and uphold her through her life's long contumely?
Dares he undertake that hard task? Dares he?
Elizabeth is never one apt to take offence, or she might resent his
delay in making any observation on her ended story. Probably she divines
that whatever may be the cause of his slowness, it is certainly not want
of emotion.
At length his tardy speech makes itself heard.
"I do not know how--I have not words strong enough with which to thank
you for telling me."
"I did not want my one friend to go away thinking more hardly of me than
he need," she answers, with a poor, small smile.
This is one of the bitterest cups to which her lips have ever been set
in the course of her sad history.
His next sentence is almost inaudible.
"I could not well think much better of you than I have done all along."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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