"'E told Eustace to make it 'ot for the other man; an' Eustace made it so 'ot that the other man went an' got divorced from the girl, an' Aladdin married 'er. It's easier for you, much. Just tell Eustace to fly off with Lootentant Allen, an' there you are, all plain sailin' again. 'Ow did you get on with the old bird?" "Splendid. 'E was all over me," said Alf listlessly. "There y'are, then. What did I tell yer? Splash a bit more money about an' 'e's yours, an' so's the girl. Come to yer Uncle Bill when yer in trouble, me lad, an' 'e'll see you through." "But what about the girl? 'Ow if she loves 'im? 'Sides, 'e's a nob." "Let 'er," said Bill cynically. "She'll soon forget 'im when you begins 'andin' out the oof. Women is all alike. I don't believe in 'em meself. Lucy's the sort for me. I'm thinkin' of marryin' Lucy, I am. She's just what I want in a wife--she can't answer me back, an' the more beer I drinks the better she seems to like it. 'Ere, what are you doin'?" Alf was unbuttoning his waistcoat and shirt. "Gettin' at the Button," he said. "Goin' to call up Eustace." "Good lad," said Bill. "'Arf a tick, though--you know 'ow the Button upsets Lucy. 'Ere, Lucy--skedaddle--bunk!" Lucy obediently bunked. "Now," said Bill. "Let's call the ole blighter up and settle the 'ash of the feller as 'as engaged 'imself to yer girl, nob or no nob." Alf rubbed the talisman. "What wouldst thou have?" said the deep tones of Eustace. Alf took a deep breath and began to speak rapidly and nervously. "Eustace," he said, "I want to say that I'm sure you always done yer best for me, an' I'm grateful for it. If you _'ave_ made some bloomers, why, we all make bloomers sometimes. An' it's me as 'ave made the biggest bloomer o' the lot." "'Ere endeth the second lesson," said Bill derisively. "Get on to business, you chump." "But," resumed Alf doggedly, "I been a fool and I ain't goin' on with it. What I want you to do is to take away everything in this 'ouse as you've put in it, an' to put back everything as you found 'ere, just as it was when you took it over." "I say ..." began Bill loudly. "Master," said Eustace gravely, "I hear and obey." He vanished. Instantly the lights in the room went out. At the same moment the hum of life which had filled the building stopped dead, and an eerie stillness fell on the house. The curtains which had veiled the windows were suddenly no longer there, and the moon shining in filled the room with a half-light in which Alf could see Bill's figure silhouetted. The dead silence was broken by a flood of picturesque and disreputable imprecations from Bill. "What d'you think yer doin'?" he asked, when he could articulate once more. "What's the idea? Think you're funny, I s'pose. 'Ere, some one's pinched me clothes...."