Alice, or the Mysteries — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Alice, or the Mysteries — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
"Atonement! what can atone to me?" exclaimed Vargrave, as he walked to
and fro the room in great disorder and excitement. "Can you give me back
years of hope and expectancy,--the manhood wasted in a vain dream? Had
I not been taught to look to this reward, should I have rejected all
occasion--while my youth was not yet all gone, while my heart was
not yet all occupied--to form a suitable alliance? Nay, should I have
indulged in a high and stirring career, for which my own fortune is by
no means qualified? Atonement! atonement! Talk of atonement to boys!
Sir, I stand before you a man whose private happiness is blighted, whose
public prospects are darkened, life wasted, fortunes ruined, the schemes
of an existence built upon one hope, which was lawfully indulged,
overthrown; and you talk to me of _atonement_!"
Selfish as the nature of this complaint might be, Aubrey was struck with
its justice.
"My lord," said he, a little embarrassed, "I cannot deny that there is
truth in much of what you say. Alas! it proves how vain it is for man
to calculate on the future; how unhappily your uncle erred in imposing
conditions, which the chances of life and the caprices of affection
could at any time dissolve! But this is blame that attaches only to the
dead: can you blame the living?"
"Sir, I considered myself bound by my uncle's prayer to keep my hand
and heart disengaged, that this title--miserable and barren distinction
though it be!--might, as he so ardently desired, descend to Evelyn. I
had a right to expect similar honour upon her side!"
"Surely, my lord, you, to whom the late lord on his death-bed confided
all the motives of his conduct and the secret of his life, cannot but
be aware that, while desirous of promoting your worldly welfare, and
uniting in one line his rank and his fortune, your uncle still had
Evelyn's happiness at heart as his warmest wish; you must know that,
if that happiness were forfeited by a marriage with you, the marriage
became but a secondary consideration. Lord Vargrave's will in itself was
a proof of this. He did not impose as an absolute condition upon Evelyn
her union with yourself; he did not make the forfeiture of her whole
wealth the penalty of her rejection of that alliance. By the definite
limit of the forfeit, he intimated a distinction between a command and
a desire. And surely, when you consider all circumstances, your lordship
must think that, what with that forfeit and the estate settled upon the
title, your uncle did all that in a worldly point of view equity and
even affection could exact from him."
Vargrave smiled bitterly, but said nothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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