Alice, or the Mysteries — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Alice, or the Mysteries — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
anxiously if my nature and my years are those that can make _her_ happy?
Then, indeed, I recognize the wide interval that time and trial place
between one whom the world has wearied, and one for whom the world is
new. If she should discover hereafter that youth should love only youth,
my bitterest anguish would be that of remorse! I know how deeply I love
by knowing how immeasurably dearer her happiness is than my own! I will
wait, then, yet a while, I will examine, I will watch well that I do not
deceive myself. As yet I think that I have no rivals whom I need fear:
surrounded as she is by the youngest and the gayest, she still turns
with evident pleasure to me, whom she calls her friend. She will forego
the amusements she most loves for society in which we can converse more
at ease. You remember, for instance, young Legard? He is here; and,
before I met Evelyn, was much at Lady Doltimore's house. I cannot be
blind to his superior advantages of youth and person; and there is
something striking and prepossessing in the gentle yet manly frankness
of his manner,--and yet no fear of his rivalship ever haunts me. True,
that of late he has been little in Evelyn's society; nor do I think,
in the frivolity of his pursuits, he can have educated his mind to
appreciate Evelyn, or be possessed of those qualities which would render
him worthy of her. But there is something good in the young man, despite
his foibles,--something that wins upon me; and you will smile to learn,
that he has even surprised from _me_--usually so reserved on such
matters--the confession of my attachment and hopes! Evelyn often talks
to me of her mother, and describes her in colours so glowing that I feel
the greatest interest in one who has helped to form so beautiful and
pure a mind. Can you learn who Lady Vargrave was? There is evidently
some mystery thrown over her birth and connections; and, from what I
can hear, this arises from their lowliness. You know that, though I have
been accused of family pride, it is a pride of a peculiar sort. I
am proud, not of the length of a mouldering pedigree, but of some
historical quarterings in my escutcheon,--of some blood of scholars and
of heroes that rolls in my veins; it is the same kind of pride that
an Englishman may feel in belonging to a country that has produced
Shakspeare and Bacon. I have never, I hope, felt the vulgar pride that
disdains want of birth in others; and I care not three straws whether my
friend or my wife be descended from a king or a peasant. It is myself,
and not my connections, who alone can disgrace my lineage; therefore,
however humble Lady Vargrave's parentage, do not scruple to inform me,
should you learn any intelligence that bears upon it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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