Alice, or the Mysteries — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Alice, or the Mysteries — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
"Why wish you wedded to another; why wed another myself? Caroline, I
have often before explained to you that we are in this the victims of
an inevitable fate. It is absolutely necessary that I should wed Miss
Cameron. I never deceived you from the first. I should have loved
her,--my heart would have accompanied my hand, but for your too
seductive beauty, your superior mind!--yes, Caroline, your mind
attracted me more than your beauty. Your mind seemed kindred to my
own,--inspired with the proper and wise ambition which regards the fools
of the world as puppets, as counters, as chessmen. For myself, a very
angel from heaven could not make me give up the great game of life,
yield to my enemies, slip from the ladder, unravel the web I have
woven! Share my heart, my friendship, my schemes! this is the true and
dignified affection that should exist between minds like ours; all the
rest is the prejudice of children."
"Vargrave, I am ambitious, worldly: I own it; but I could give up all
for you!"
"You think so, for you do not know the sacrifice. You see me now
apparently rich, in power, courted; and this fate you are willing to
share; and this fate you _should_ share, were it the real one I could
bestow on you. But reverse the medal. Deprived of office, fortune gone,
debts pressing, destitution notorious, the ridicule of embarrassments,
the disrepute attached to poverty and defeated ambition, an exile
in some foreign town on the poor pension to which alone I should be
entitled, a mendicant on the public purse; and that, too, so eaten into
by demands and debts, that there is not a grocer in the next market-town
who would envy the income of the retired minister! Retire, fallen,
despised, in the prime of life, in the zenith of my hopes! Suppose that
I could bear this for myself, could I bear it for you? _You_, born to be
the ornament of courts! And you could you see me thus--life embittered,
career lost--and feel, generous as you are, that your love had entailed
on me, on us both, on our children, this miserable lot! Impossible,
Caroline! we are too wise for such romance. It is not because we love
too little, but because our love is worthy of each other, that we
disdain to make love a curse! We cannot wrestle against the world, but
we may shake hands with it, and worm the miser out of its treasures. My
heart must be ever yours; my hand must be Miss Cameron's. Money I
must have,--my whole career depends on it. It is literally with me
the highwayman's choice,--money or life." Vargrave paused, and took
Caroline's hand.
"I cannot reason with you," said she; "you know the strange empire you
have obtained over me, and, certainly, in spite of all that has passed
(and Caroline turned pale) I could bear anything rather than that
you should hereafter reproach me for selfish disregard of your
interests,--your just ambition."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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