"And why have I ever doubted this event? [said Alonzo.] What infatuation hath thus led me on the pursuit of fantastic and unreal bliss? I have had, it is true, no positive assurance that Melissa would favor my addresses. But why did she ever receive them? Why did she enchantingly smile upon me? Why fascinate the tender powers of my soul by that winning mildness, and the favorable display of those complicated and superior attractions which she must have known were irresistible? Why did she not spurn me from her confidence, and plainly tell me that my attentions were untimely and improper?--And now she would have me dance attendance to her decision, in favor of Beauman--Insulting! Let Beauman and she make, as they have formed, this farcical decision; I absolutely will never attend it.] But, I have engaged to see her at an appointed time; my honour is therefore pledged for an interview; it must take place. I shall endeavour to support it with becoming dignity, and I will convince Alida and Bonville, that I am not the dupe of their caprices. But, let me consider--What has Alida done to deserve censure or reproach? Her brother was my early friend; she has treated me as a friend to that brother. She was unconscious of the affection which her charms and mental graces had kindled in my bosom. Her evident embarrassment, on receiving my declaration, witnessed her surprise and prior attachment. What could she do to save herself the pain of a direct denial? She has appointed a day when her refusal may come in a more delicate and formal manner--and I must therefore meet it. [_A&M_: --But stop:--I have engaged to see her at an appointed time; my honor is therefore pledged for an interview; it must take place. I shall support it with becoming dignity, and I will convince Melissa and Beauman that I am not the dupe of their caprices. But let me consider--What has Melissa done to deserve censure or reproach? Her brother was my early friend--she has treated me as a friend to her brother. She was unconscious of the flame which her charms had kindled in my bosom. Her evident embarrassment and confusion on receiving my declaration, witnessed her surprise and prior attachment. What could she do? To save herself the pain of a direct denial she has appointed a day when her refusal may come in a more delicate and formal manner--and I must meet it."] CHAPTER IX. The time draws near when I shall meet those eyes, that may perchance look cold on me--"but doubt is called the beacon of the wise, the test that reaches to the bottom of the worst." [_Troilus and Cressida_, II.ii: but modest doubt is called The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches To th' bottom of the worst.]