All along the River: A NovelBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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All along the River: A Novel
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
“You are wrong there,” he said, gently lifting her from the ground,
and placing her beside him on the bank. “What chastity is to a woman,
honour is to a man. Men have had to stand up before their fellow-men
and acknowledge their violation of man’s code of honour; knowing that
such acknowledgment made them dirt, and very dirt, in the sight of
honourable men. You, as a woman, know not how deep men’s scorn cuts a
man who has sinned against the law which governs gentlemen. A woman
thinks there is no such sting as the sting of her shame. Men know
better. Yes, I know that it will be most bitter, more bitter than
death--for you to tell Colonel Disney that you are not what you have
seemed to him; but apart from all considerations of duty, do not his
love and devotion deserve the sacrifice of self-love on your part?
Can you bear yourself to the last, as a virtuous wife--enjoying his
respect--knowing that it is undeserved----”
“I will tell him--at the last,” she faltered. “In that parting hour I
shall not shrink from telling him all--how I sinned against him--almost
unawares--drifting half unconsciously into a fatal entanglement--and
then--and then--against my will--in my weakness and helplessness--alone
in the power of the man I loved--betrayed into sin. Oh God! why do
you make me remember?” she cried wildly, turning upon the priest
in passionate reproachfulness. “For years I have been trying to
forget--trying to blank out the past--praying, praying, praying that
my humble, tearful love for my husband and my child might cancel those
hours of sin. And you come to me, and question me, and on pretence of
saving my soul, you force me to look back upon that bygone horror--to
live again through that time of madness--the destruction of my life.
Cruel, cruel, cruel!”
“Forgive me!” said Father Rodwell, very gently, seeing that she was
struggling with hysteria. “I have been too hard, perhaps, too eager
to convince you of the right! There are some men, even of my sacred
calling, who would judge your case otherwise--who would say the husband
is happy in his ignorance; the wife has repented of her sin. _Non
quieta movere._ But it is not in my nature to choose the easy pathways;
and it may be that I am too severe a teacher. We will not talk any more
about serious things to-day. Only believe that I am your friend--your
sincere and devoted friend. If I have spoken hard things, be assured I
would have spoken in the same spirit had you been my own sister. Let
us say no more yet awhile--and perhaps when you have thought over our
interview to-day you will come to see things almost as I see them. I
won’t press the matter. I will leave your own heart and conscience to
plead with you. And now may I walk home with you, before the beauty of
the afternoon begins to fade?”
“The vetturino will be waiting for me at the gate,” Isola answered,
with a dull, dead voice, rising languidly, and adjusting the loosened
hair about her forehead with tremulous fingers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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