All Men are GhostsJacks, L. P. (Lawrence Pearsall)
Philosophy
All Men are Ghosts
Jacks, L. P. (Lawrence Pearsall)
Short stories; Supernatural -- Fiction
Professor Scattergood spoke these words in a low, soft, musical voice;
the voice he always used when talking to horses or to himself about
Ethelberta. Even the obnoxious adjective was pronounced by the Professor
with that tenderness of intonation which only a horse or a woman can
fully understand. And here I must explain that this particular tone came
to him naturally in these two connections only. In all others his voice
was high-pitched, hard, and a trifle forced. Years of lecturing on
Systematic Theology had considerably damaged his vocal apparatus. He had
developed a throat-clutch; he had a distressing habit of ending all his
sentences on the rising inflection; and whenever he was the least
excited in argument he had a tendency to scream. It was in this voice
that he addressed his class. But whenever he happened to be talking to
horses, or to himself about Ethelberta--and you might catch him doing so
almost any time when he was alone,--you would hear something akin to
music, and would reflect what a pity it was that Professor Scattergood
had never learned to sing.
It was, I say, in this low, soft, musical voice that he addressed his
mare, perhaps with some exceptional sadness, on the day when, sorely
tried by her bad behaviour, he had come to the conclusion that the
engagement must be broken off. And now I must once more risk my
reputation for veracity; and if the pinch comes and I have to defend
myself from the charge of lying, I shall appeal for confirmation to my
old friend the ostler, who knows a great deal about 'osses, and believes
my story through and through. What happened was this.
The moment Professor Scattergood began to address his mare in the tones
aforesaid, she stood stock-still, with ears reversed in the direction
from which the sounds were coming. When he had finished, a gentle quiver
passed through her body. Then, suddenly lowering her head, she turned it
round with a quick movement towards the off stirrup, and slightly bit
the toe of Professor Scattergood's boot. This done, she recovered her
former attitude of attention, and again reversed her ears as though
awaiting a response. Taking in the meaning of her act with a swift
instinct which he never allowed to mar his treatment of Systematic
Theology, the professor said one word--"Ethelberta"; and the word had
hardly passed his lips when something began to tingle at the back of his
head. Instantly the mare broke into the gentlest and evenest canter that
ever delighted a horseman of sixty years; carried him through the
remainder of his ride without a single hitch, shy, or other
misdemeanour, and brought him to his own doorstep in exactly two hours
and five minutes from the time he had left it. Thenceforward, until the
last day of his life, he never had the slightest trouble with his mare.
That is the story which the ostler believes through and through.
Next day the Professor said to this man:
"Tom, I'm going to change the name of my mare."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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