"I do not feel very well," he replied, partly averting his face, as if
he did not wish me to read its expression too closely. "I have had a
weary day."
"You must take more recreation," said I. "This excessive devotion to
business is destroying your health. Why will you do it, father?"
He merely sighed as he passed onwards, and ascended to his own room. At
tea-time I observed that his face was unusually sober. His silence was
nothing uncommon, and so that passed without remark from any one.
On the next day Jane received the hundred dollars, which was spent for
a shawl like mine. This brought the sunshine back to her face. Her
moody looks, I saw, disturbed my father.
From this time, the hand which had ever been ready to supply all our
wants real or imaginary, opened less promptly at our demands. My father
talked occasionally of retrenchment and economy when some of our
extravagant bills came in; but we paid little heed to his remarks on
this head. Where could we retrench? In what could we economize? The
very idea was absurd. We had nothing that others moving in our circle
did not have. Our house and furniture would hardly compare favorably
with the houses and furniture of many of our fashionable friends. We
dressed no better--indeed, not so well as dozens of our acquaintances.
Retrenchment and economy! I remember laughing with my sisters at the
words, and wondering with them what could be coming over our father. In
a half-amused way, we enumerated the various items of imaginary reform,
beginning at the annual summer recreations, and ending with our
milliner's bills. In mock seriousness, we proposed to take the places
of cook, chambermaid, and waiter, and thus save these items of expense
in the family. We had quite a merry time over our fancied reforms.
But our father was serious. Steadily he persisted in what seemed to us
a growing penuriousness. Every demand for money seemed to give him a
partial shock, and every dollar that came to us was parted with
reluctantly. All this was something new; but we thought less than we
felt about it. Our father seemed to be getting into a very singular
state of mind.
Summer came round--I shall never forget that summer--and we commenced
making our annual preparations for Saratoga. Money was, of course, an
indispensable prerequisite. I asked for fifty dollars.
"For what purpose?" inquired my father.
"I haven't a single dress fit to appear in away from home," said I.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
I thought the question a strange one, and replied, a little curtly,
"To Saratoga, of course."
"Oh!" It seemed new to him. Then he repeated my words, in a questioning
kind of a way, as if his mind were not altogether satisfied on the
subject.
"To Saratoga?"
"Yes, sir. To Saratoga. We always go there. We shall close the season
at Newport this year."
"Who else is going?" My father's manner was strange. I had never seen
him just in the mood he then appeared to be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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