All the Sad Young MenFitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
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All the Sad Young Men
Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
"Well, in the morning I get up and go through a series of exercises.
I've got one room fitted up as a little gymnasium, and I punch the bag
and do shadow-boxing and weight-pulling for an hour. Then after a cold
bath-- There's a thing now! Do you take a daily cold bath?"
"No," admitted Roger, "I take a hot bath in the evening three or four
times a week."
A horrified silence fell. Tompkins and Gretchen exchanged a glance as if
something obscene had been said.
"What's the matter?" broke out Roger, glancing from one to the other in
some irritation. "You know I don't take a bath every day--I haven't got
the time."
Tompkins gave a prolonged sigh.
"After my bath," he continued, drawing a merciful veil of silence over
the matter, "I have breakfast and drive to my office in New York, where
I work until four. Then I lay off, and if it's summer I hurry out here
for nine holes of golf, or if it's winter I play squash for an hour at
my club. Then a good snappy game of bridge until dinner. Dinner is
liable to have something to do with business, but in a pleasant way.
Perhaps I've just finished a house for some customer, and he wants me to
be on hand for his first party to see that the lighting is soft enough
and all that sort of thing. Or maybe I sit down with a good book of
poetry and spend the evening alone. At any rate, I do something every
night to get me out of myself."
"It must be wonderful," said Gretchen enthusiastically. "I wish we lived
like that."
Tompkins bent forward earnestly over the table.
"You can," he said impressively. "There's no reason why you shouldn't.
Look here, if Roger'll play nine holes of golf every day it'll do
wonders for him. He won't know himself. He'll do his work better, never
get that tired, nervous feeling-- What's the matter?"
He broke off. Roger had perceptibly yawned.
"Roger," cried Gretchen sharply, "there's no need to be so rude. If you
did what George said, you'd be a lot better off." She turned indignantly
to their host. "The latest is that he's going to work at night for the
next six weeks. He says he's going to pull down the blinds and shut us
up like hermits in a cave. He's been doing it every Sunday for the last
year; now he's going to do it every night for six weeks."
Tompkins shook his head sadly.
"At the end of six weeks," he remarked, "he'll be starting for the
sanitarium. Let me tell you, every private hospital in New York is full
of cases like yours. You just strain the human nervous system a little
too far, and bang!--you've broken something. And in order to save sixty
hours you're laid up sixty weeks for repairs." He broke off, changed his
tone, and turned to Gretchen with a smile. "Not to mention what happens
to you. It seems to me it's the wife rather than the husband who bears
the brunt of these insane periods of overwork."
"I don't mind," protested Gretchen loyally.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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