Didactic fiction; Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction
“My dear,” said he, “I had no intention to conceal from you what hath
past this morning between me and the colonel, who hath oppressed me, if
I may use that expression, with obligations. Sure never man had such a
friend; for never was there so noble, so generous a heart--I cannot help
this ebullition of gratitude, I really cannot.” Here he paused a moment,
and wiped his eyes, and then proceeded: “You know, my dear, how gloomy
the prospect was yesterday before our eyes, how inevitable ruin stared
me in the face; and the dreadful idea of having entailed beggary on my
Amelia and her posterity racked my mind; for though, by the goodness of
the doctor, I had regained my liberty, the debt yet remained; and, if
that worthy man had a design of forgiving me his share, this must have
been my utmost hope, and the condition in which I must still have found
myself need not to be expatiated on. In what light, then, shall I see,
in what words shall I relate, the colonel’s kindness? O my dear Amelia!
he hath removed the whole gloom at once, hath driven all despair out
of my mind, and hath filled it with the most sanguine, and, at the same
time, the most reasonable hopes of making a comfortable provision for
yourself and my dear children. In the first place, then, he will advance
me a sum of money to pay off all my debts; and this on a bond to be
repaid only when I shall become colonel of a regiment, and not before.
In the next place, he is gone this very morning to ask a company for me,
which is now vacant in the West Indies; and, as he intends to push this
with all his interest, neither he nor I have any doubt of his success.
Now, my dear, comes the third, which, though perhaps it ought to give me
the greatest joy, such is, I own, the weakness of my nature, it rends my
very heartstrings asunder. I cannot mention it, for I know it will give
you equal pain; though I know, on all proper occasions, you can exert a
manly resolution. You will not, I am convinced, oppose it, whatever you
must suffer in complying. O my dear Amelia! I must suffer likewise;
yet I have resolved to bear it. You know not what my poor heart hath
suffered since he made the proposal. It is love for you alone which
could persuade me to submit to it. Consider our situation; consider that
of our children; reflect but on those poor babes, whose future happiness
is at stake, and it must arm your resolution. It is your interest and
theirs that reconciled me to a proposal which, when the colonel first
made it, struck me with the utmost horror; he hath, indeed, from these
motives, persuaded me into a resolution which I thought impossible for
any one to have persuaded me into. O my dear Amelia! let me entreat
you to give me up to the good of your children, as I have promised the
colonel to give you up to their interest and your own. If you refuse
these terms we are still undone, for he insists absolutely upon them.
Think, then, my love, however hard they may be, necessity compels us to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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