Didactic fiction; Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction
"I found Bagillard in his bed; for the major's sword had passed up to
the very hilt through his body. After having very earnestly asked my
pardon, he made me many compliments on the possession of a woman who,
joined to the most exquisite beauty, was mistress of the most
impregnable virtue; as a proof of which he acknowledged the vehemence
as well as ill success of his attempts: and, to make Amelia's virtue
appear the brighter, his vanity was so predominant he could not
forbear running over the names of several women of fashion who had
yielded to his passion, which, he said, had never raged so violently
for any other as for my poor Amelia; and that this violence, which he
had found wholly unconquerable, he hoped would procure his pardon at
my hands. It is unnecessary to mention what I said on the occasion. I
assured him of my entire forgiveness; and so we parted. To say the
truth, I afterwards thought myself almost obliged to him for a meeting
with Amelia the most luxuriously delicate that can be imagined.
"I now ran to my wife, whom I embraced with raptures of love and
tenderness. When the first torrent of these was a little abated,
'Confess to me, my dear,' said she, 'could your goodness prevent you
from thinking me a little unreasonable in expressing so much
uneasiness at the loss of your company, while I ought to have rejoiced
in the thoughts of your being so well entertained; I know you must;
and then consider what I must have felt, while I knew I was daily
lessening myself in your esteem, and forced into a conduct which I was
sensible must appear to you, who was ignorant of my motive, to be
mean, vulgar, and selfish. And yet, what other course had I to take
with a man whom no denial, no scorn could abash? But, if this was a
cruel task, how much more wretched still was the constraint I was
obliged to wear in his presence before you, to shew outward civility
to the man whom my soul detested, for fear of any fatal consequence
from your suspicion; and this too while I was afraid he would construe
it to be an encouragement? Do you not pity your poor Amelia when you
reflect on her situation?' Pity! cried I; my love! is pity an adequate
expression for esteem, for adoration? But how, my love, could he carry
this on so secretly?--by letters? 'O no, he offered me many; but I
never would receive but one, and that I returned him. Good G--! I
would not have such a letter in my possession for the universe; I
thought my eyes contaminated with reading it.'" "O brave!" cried Miss
Matthews; "heroic, I protest.
"'Had I a wish that did not bear
The stamp and image of my dear,
I'd pierce my heart through ev'ry vein,
And die to let it out again.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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