"Louis does not want any office, and would not take any; he told me so himself." "He's a very modest bit of a duck." "Now we must divide ourselves into watches," continued the captain, though he did not particularly enjoy the interruptions of Felix, who was often struggling to bring forth a joke on such occasions as the present. "You know there are two watches on board ship, Flix?" "One on the starboard and the other on the port side," added Felix with a gape. "Nonsense! You know very well that the name has nothing to do with the sides of the ship!" exclaimed Captain Scott impatiently. "Now talk sense, and we will soon settle this business; then you can flop over on the divan and go to sleep. Do you know which is the captain's watch, Flix?" "To be sure I do; it's the one he commands." "More nonsense, though we are now engaged in serious business! Port or starboard?" demanded Scott. "Port, because the red light always belongs on the port side." "Wrong! The mate always has the port watch. Now do you know which is which?" "Faix, you didn't tell me which was the captain's watch," replied Felix with a blank look. "I'll figure it out, and I may be able to tell you by the time we are ready to sail." "You are not a fool, Flix!" "Wait till I argue the matter with myself. The mate has the port watch, and the captain has the other," replied Felix, scratching his head as if to stimulate his ideas. "Begorra! it just shoots through my mind, like an electric light in a dark street when it is touched off! The captain's watch must be the starboard." "Right; but I wonder your long head hasn't exploded in working out the problem. When there is a second mate"-- "That's metaphysics, for we have no second mate," protested Felix. "For that reason the captain has to keep his own watch, which the second mate would keep for him if there were one," continued the captain. "Just as soon as the ship gets into deep water the crew are divided into watches." "Do you think the water is deep enough in here to divide the crew into watches?" asked Felix, still struggling to be funny. "It is two hundred fathoms deep in the middle of the bay, and it will do. Each officer chooses a man in turn." "It won't take long in this case, as the crew consists of only two." "The captain makes the first choice, and I choose you, Flix." "You do me very great honor, Captain Scott, and I was not before aware that I stood so high in your affections, and I thank you from the top to the bottom of my heart," replied the Milesian, taking off his cap and bowing low to his companion.