American Woman's Home: Or, Principles of Domestic Science;: Being a Guide to the Formation and Maintenance of Economical, Healthful, Beautiful, and Christian HomesStowe, Harriet Beecher
Religion
American Woman's Home: Or, Principles of Domestic Science;: Being a Guide to the Formation and Maintenance of Economical, Healthful, Beautiful, and Christian Homes
Stowe, Harriet Beecher
Home economics
In regard to forming habits of obedience, there have been two extremes,
both of which need to be shunned. One is, a stern and unsympathizing
maintenance of parental authority, demanding perfect and constant
obedience, without any attempt to convince a child of the propriety
and benevolence of the requisitions, and without any manifestation of
sympathy and tenderness for the pain and difficulties which are to be
met. Under such discipline, children grow up to fear their parents,
rather than to love and trust them; while some of the most valuable
principles of character are chilled, or forever blasted.
In shunning this danger, other parents pass to the opposite extreme.
They put themselves too much on the footing of equals with their
children, as if little were due to superiority of relation, age, and
experience. Nothing is exacted, without the implied concession that
the child is to be a judge of the propriety of the requisition; and
reason and persuasion are employed, where simple command and obedience
would be far better. This system produces a most pernicious influence.
Children soon perceive the position thus allowed them, and take every
advantage of it. They soon learn to dispute parental requirements,
acquire habits of forwardness and conceit, assume disrespectful manners
and address, maintain their views with pertinacity, and yield to
authority with ill-humor and resentment, as if their rights were
infringed upon.
The medium course is for the parent to take the attitude of a superior
in age, knowledge, and relation, who has a perfect _right_ to control
every action of the child, and that, too, without giving any reason for
the requisitions. "Obey _because your parent commands_," is always a
proper and sufficient reason: though not always the best to give.
But care should be taken to convince the child that the parent is
conducting a course of discipline, designed to make him happy; and in
forming habits of implicit obedience, self-denial, and benevolence,
the child should have the reasons for most requisitions kindly stated;
never, however, on the demand of it from the child, as a right, but
as an act of kindness from the parent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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