American Woman's Home: Or, Principles of Domestic Science;: Being a Guide to the Formation and Maintenance of Economical, Healthful, Beautiful, and Christian HomesStowe, Harriet Beecher
Religion
American Woman's Home: Or, Principles of Domestic Science;: Being a Guide to the Formation and Maintenance of Economical, Healthful, Beautiful, and Christian Homes
Stowe, Harriet Beecher
Home economics
There is one great mistake, not unfrequently made, in the management
both of domestics and of children, and that is, in supposing that the
way to cure defects is by finding fault as each failing occurs. But
instead of this being true, in many cases the directly opposite course
is the best; while, in all instances, much good judgment is required
in order to decide when to notice faults and when to let them pass
unnoticed. There are some minds very sensitive, easily discouraged,
and infirm of purpose. Such persons, when they have formed habits of
negligence, haste, and awkwardness, often need expressions of sympathy
and encouragement rather than reproof. They have usually been found
fault with so much that they have become either hardened or desponding;
and it is often the case, that a few words of commendation will awaken
fresh efforts and renewed hope. In almost every case, words of kindness,
confidence, and encouragement should be mingled with the needful
admonitions or reproof.
It is a good rule, in reference to this point, to _forewarn_ instead of
finding fault. Thus, when a thing has been done wrong, let it pass
unnoticed, till it is to be done again; and then, a simple request to
have it done in the right way will secure quite as much, and probably
more, willing effort, than a reproof administered for neglect. Some
persons seem to take it for granted that young and inexperienced minds
are bound to have all the forethought and discretion of mature persons;
and freely express wonder and disgust when mishaps occur for want of
these traits. But it would be far better to save from mistake or
forgetfulness by previous caution and care on the part of those who have
gained experience and forethought; and thus many occasions of complaint
and ill-humor will be avoided.
Those who fill the places of heads of families are not very apt to
think how painful it is to be chided for neglect of duty or for faults
of character. If they would sometimes imagine themselves in the place
of those whom they control, with some person daily administering reproof
to them, in the same _tone and style_ as they employ to those who
are under them, it might serve as a useful cheek to their chidings.
It is often the ease, that persons who are most strict and exacting
and least able to make allowances and receive palliations, are
themselves peculiarly sensitive to any tiling which implies that they
are in fault. By such, the spirit implied in the Divine petition,
"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against
us," needs especially to be cherished.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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