East Indian Americans -- Fiction; Psychics -- Fiction
There was a slight hesitation and a long breath before the answer came.
“I am ashamed to tell you, Mr. Cabot. I value your good opinion so very
much that it comes hard to let you know what a weak and cowardly thing
I have been, and am.”
“Cowardly--that I do not believe. You may be weak; all of us are that;
in fact, it seems to be the distinguishing attribute of the human
family. But out with it, whatever it is. You can trust me.”
“Oh, I know that, sir! If you were only less of a man and more like
myself, it would be easier to do it. But I will tell you the whole
story. By the fourth of November I shall not be alive, and I have known
it for a year.”
Mr. Cabot turned in surprise. “Why do you think that?”
But Amos went on without heeding the question.
“I knew it when I asked Molly to be my wife; and all the time that she
has gone on loving me more and more, I have known it, and done all
I could to make things worse. And now, as the time approaches and I
realize that in a few weeks she will be a broken-hearted woman--for
I have learned what her affection is and how much I am to her--now I
begin to see what I have done. God knows it is hard enough to die and
leave her, but to die only to have played a practical joke on the girl
for whom I would joyfully give a thousand lives if I had them, is too
much.”
He arose, and standing before her father, made a slight gesture as of
surrender and resignation. The older man looked away toward the distant
river, but said nothing.
“Listen, sir, and try to believe me.” Mr. Cabot raised his glance
to the dark face and saw truth and an open heart in the eyes fixed
solemnly upon his own; and he recognized a being transformed by a
passion immeasurably stronger than himself.
“When I found she loved me I could think of nothing else. Why should I
not be happy for the short time I had to live? Her love was more to me
than any earthly thing, than any possible hereafter. Better one summer
with her than to live forever and not have known her. Oh! I thought
of her side of it, often and often; many a night I have done nothing
else, but I could no more give her up than I could lift this hill.”
He paused, drew a long breath, as if at the hopelessness of words to
convey his meaning, then added, very calmly:
“Now I am soberer, as the end approaches, and I love her more than
ever: but I will do whatever you say; anything that will make her
happier. No sacrifice can be too great, and I promise you I will make
it. I have often wished the bull had killed me that day, then I should
have her love and respect forever; and yours too, perhaps.”
“You have both now, Amos. But tell me why you think you are to die by
November fourth?”
Amos resumed his seat upon the rock and answered: “Because I have seen
myself lying dead on that day.”
“I have sometimes wondered,” said Mr. Cabot, “if that temptation would
not prove too strong for you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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