Censen tu illum hodie primum ire adsuetum esse in ganeum? (_to Artemona_) Do you think to-day is the first time that gentleman has used such resorts? _Art._ Ille ecastor suppilabat me, quod ancillas meas suspicabar atque insontis miseras cruciabam. Mercy on us! So he was the thief all those times I suspected my maids, yes, and tortured the poor innocent things. _Argyr._ Pater, iube dari vinum; iam dudum factum est cum primum bibi. 890 Tell them to set the wine going, father; it seems an age since I had my first drink. _Dem._ Da, puere, ab summo. age, tu interibi ab infimo da savium. (_to servant_) Boy, send round the wine from the head of the table. (_to Philaenium_) Come, my dear, meanwhile you send round a naughty, naughty kiss from the foot. (_Philaenium obeys_) _Art._ Perii misera, ut osculatur carnufex, capuli decus. Oh-h-h! Good heavens! The way he kisses, the villain, fit only to grace a coffin! _Dem._ Edepol animam suaviorem aliquanto quam uxoris meae. My word! Rather sweeter breath than my wife’s! _Phil._ Dic amabo, an fetet anima uxoris tuae? Do tell me, there’s a dear--your wife’s breath isn’t bad, is it? _Dem._ Nauteam bibere malim, si necessum sit, quam illam oscularier. I’d rather drink bilge water, if it came to that, than kiss her. _Art._ Ain tandem? edepol ne tu istuc cum malo magno tuo dixisti in me. sine, revenias modo domum, faxo ut scias quid pericli sit dotatae uxori vitium dicere. (_aside_) So? You would, would you? Good gracious, sir, that fling at me will cost you dear. Very well! just you come back home, sir! I’ll show you the danger of vilifying a wife with money. _Phil._ Miser ecastor es. Goodness me, you poor thing! _Art._ Ecastor dignus est. (_aside_) Goodness me, he deserves to be! _Argyr._ Quid ais, pater? ecquid matrem amas? Look here, father. Do you love my mother? _Dem._ Egone illam? nunc amo, quia non adest. 900 Love her? I? I love her now for not being near. _Argyr._ Quid cum adest? And when she is near? _Dem._ Periisse cupio. I yearn for a death in the family. _Par._ Amat homo hic te, ut praedicat. (_to Artemona_) This gentleman is fond of you, it seems. _Art._ Ne illa ecastor faenerato funditat: nam si domum redierit hodie. osculando ego ulciscar potissimum. (_aside_) Oh-h-h! won’t he pay interest on that flow of words! Just let him come back home to-day, and that will be my favourite method of revenge--kissing him. _Argyr._ Iace, pater, talos, ut porro nos iaciamus. (_pushing some dice toward Demaenetus_) Your throw, father: come, so that I can take my turn. _Dem._