"Whom seek ye, sirs--Tom Long? Oh, fie upon Your tediousness, he's long since gone; He went a good while since, no question store Are glad, who vex'd he did not go before; And some are griev'd he went so soon away, The reason was, he could no longer stay; Nor is it a wonder that he thus is gone, Since all men know he long was drawing on." CHAPTER XIII. _Witty Conceits of Tom Long the Carrier._ Tom Long the Carrier, upon a time, asked a merry conceited fellow which was the best husband for a young wench to marry. "Marry," quoth the fellow, "an old man, for then he shall be sure to be proud of her." Another standing by asked Tom Long the Carrier what trade he thought to be best? "Marry," quoth Tom, "a cut-purse; for he hath no sooner done his work but he hath his money in his hand." CHAPTER XIV. _The Conclusion of the Merry Conceits of Tom Long the Carrier._ Tom Long the Carrier coming to an inn, Asked the maid what meat there was within? "Cow-heels," said she, "and a fine breast of mutton." "Then," said Tom, "since that I am no glutton, Either or both shall serve--to-night the breast, The heels in the morning, when light meat is best." At night he took the breast, and did not pay, And in the morning took his heels and ran away. When the worst is past, all things begin to mend, And here the brave story of Tom Long doth end. * * * * * THE STORY OF BLUE BEARD OR THE EFFECTS OF FEMALE CURIOSITY. There was, some time ago, a gentleman who was extremely rich. He had elegant town and country houses; his dishes and plates were of gold and silver; his rooms were hung with damask; his chairs and sofas were covered with the richest silks, and his carriages were all magnificently gilt with gold. But, unfortunately, this gentleman had a blue beard, which made him so very frightful and ugly that none of the ladies in the neighbourhood would venture to go into his company. It happened that a lady of quality, who lived very near him, had two daughters, who were both extremely beautiful. Blue Beard asked her to bestow one of them upon him in marriage, leaving to herself the choice which of the two it should be. They both, however, again and again refused to marry Blue Beard; but, to be as civil as possible, they each pretended that they refused because she would not deprive her sister of the opportunity of marrying so much to her advantage. But the truth was they could not bear the thoughts of having a husband with a blue beard, and, besides, they had heard of his having already been married to several wives, and nobody could tell what had afterwards become of them.