"Oho!" thinks I, "friend, ye cannot be a Christian from your lingo,
that's one thing poz; and I would wager tippence you're a Frenchy. Who
kens keeps us all, but ye may be a Bonaparte himself in disguise, come
over in a flat-bottomed boat, to spy the nakedness of the land. So ye
may just rest content, and keep your quarters good till the morn's
morning."
It was a wonderful business, and enough to happen to a man in the course
of his lifetime to find Mounseer from Paris in his coal neuk, and have
the enemy of his country snug under lock and key; so while he kept
rampaging, fuffing, stamping, and diabbling away I went in and brought
out Benjie with a blanket row'd round him, and my journeyman, Tommy
Bodkin--who, being an orphan, I made a kind of parlour boarder of, he
sleeping on a shake-down beyond the kitchen fire--to hold a consultation
and be witness of the transaction.
I got my musket, and Tommy Bodkin armed himself with the goose, a deadly
weapon, whoever may get a clour with it, and Benjie took the poker in
one hand and the tongs in the other; and out we all marched briskly to
make the Frenchman that was locked up from the light of day in the coal
house surrender. After hearkening at the door for a while, and finding
all quiet, he gave a knock to rouse him up and see if we could bring
anything out of him by speering him cross-questions. Tammy and Benjie
trembled from top to toe, like aspen leaves, but fient a word could we
make common sense of it all. I wonder wha edicates thae foreign
creatures? It was in vain to follow him, for he just gab, gabbled away
like ane o' the stone masons at the tower of Babel. At first I was
completely bamboozled and amaist dung stupid, though I kent a word of
French which I wantit to pit till him, so I cried through--"Canna you
speak Frencha, Mounseer?"
He hadna the politeness to stop and mak' answer, but just gaed on wi'
his string of havers, without either rhyme or reason, which we could
mak' neither tap, tail, nor main o'.
It was a sair trial to us a', putting us to our wit's end, and hoo to
come on was past all visible comprehension, when Tammy Bodkin, gi'eing
his elbow a claw, said--"Od, maister, I wager something that he's broken
loose frae Pennycuick. We have him like a rotten in a fa'." On
Pennycuick being mentioned, we heard the foreign crature in the coal
house groaning out, "Och" and "ohone," and "parbleu," and "Mysie
Rabbie"--that, I fancy, was his sweetheart at hame, sum bit French queen
that wondered he was never like to come frae the wars and marry her. I
thocht on this, for his voice was mournfu', though I couldna understand
the words; and, kenning he was a stranger in a far land, my bowels
yearned within me with compassion towards him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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