It happened on a time, during the late unhappy wars, that all the Essex Trainband were assembled at Walden, to resist the king's forces, who, in a bravado, had made their excursions as far as Huntingdon. Amongst other military weapons of destruction, they brought a drake, which they planted under poor Robin's chamber-window, to be shot off at nine o'clock at night, for a warning for all people to repair home. Poor Robin and his wife were at that time newly gone to bed; now it is to be understood, the chamber where they lay went out half over the room below, a rail of about four feet high being set up by the side to keep them from falling, close by the rail was poor Robin's bed. But whilst they were going to sleep, the drake was shot off, which poor Sarah, his wife, hearing, with the fright gave a sudden start, and threw poor Robin quite over the rail into the room below. Poor Robin was much bruised in body and half dead. At length he got up, but his courage was so cooled with the greatness of his fall that he had more need of a doctor than a sleep. CHAPTER VII. _How Poor Sarah was cheated of her Mutton Pie._ Poor Sarah on a time made a very great pie, into which she had put a whole loin of mutton besides other things, so that it was valued worth five or six shillings at least. This pie she sent to the common oven to bake, which, being perceived by three or four merry blades, they resolved, if they could possibly, to cheat her of the pie, which at last they brought to pass on this manner. At such time as the baker used to draw, two of them went and held poor Sarah in a tale, whilst the other sent one of her neighbour's boys to the baker's with a pail, a napkin, and money to pay for the baking. The baker mistrusting no knavery, delivered the boy the pie, which was presently carried to the next ale-house, whether inviting some more of their companions unto them, with much mirth and laughter; and because the jest should be publicly known they set the crier to work, who published the same in every corner of the town. CHAPTER VIII. _How Poor Robin ate Dog-stones instead of Lamb-stones._ As Poor Robin was more addicted to flesh than fish, so of all sorts of flesh he loved a dish of lamb-stones best. A merry disposed companion knowing his appetite, resolved to put a trick upon him. A gentleman of the town who kept a pack of hounds, having gelt his dogs, he gets the stones, and with a few sweet breads presents them to poor Robin as a dainty dish. Poor Robin very thankful for so great kindness would not stay, but presently had them dressed, making all the haste he could, for fear any should come in to be partakers with him in his dinner. But having eaten them, and understood the truth, he fell a-spewing as if his gall would come up with it. Poor Sarah, in like manner, disgorged her stomach, so that who should have seen them, would have concluded them drunk with eating. CHAPTER IX.