_Harry._--Ned, my service to you, upon my honour, as the gentleman says, I will never say anything of it to anybody. _Ned._--Well then, Harry, if I be out at any time, as now with you, when I go home, as soon as I get within doors she'll begin with a pretty tone she has learned off her neighbours. "Oh! brave sir! You are a fine husband, you mind your business and shop, as you promised me before we were married: do you not, you drunken dog? you rogue, you rascal, where have you been these six hours (though it were but three), sirrah, give me account where you have been." _Harry._--Well, Ned, do you give her an account where you were, or what answer do you make her? _Ned._--All that I say to her is, "Pray, my dear, be not in such a passion, for I was with an old friend that I have not seen two or three years." "A pox on your old friend," says she, "and you too must go and fill your belly with good meat and drink, and I and my poor children starve at home, with only a little bread and cheese. A curse on the first day I saw you." _Harry._--Why, Ned, I hope your circumstances are not so low in the world, but that you can afford your wife pretty well to keep house with. _Ned._--Why, Harry, there's hardly a day but we have a joint of meat, either boiled or roasted, and I am sure she never wants for good bread, cheese, eggs, and butter. _Harry._--Pray, Ned, what does she do towards maintaining your house, does she endeavour any ways to get a penny? What portion had you with her? _Ned._--Harry, never marry a chamber-maid, for they bring nothing with them but a few old clothes of their mistresses, and for house-keeping, few of them know anything of it; for they can hardly make a pudding or a pie, neither can they spin, nor knit, nor wash, except it be a few laces to make themselves fine withal. _Harry._--What would she be at? _Ned_--Why always a-gossiping, there is such a company of them in our street that there's never a day but some or other of them meet together. _Harry._--Where do they meet? _Ned._--Where the best country ale is. _Harry._--What, do they make a sitting of it when they meet? _Ned._--A sitting of it; yes, yes, they will sit from three till ten at night, and drink like fishes, and talk against their husbands. _Harry._--What do you say when she comes home? Do you not ask her where she has been that she stayed so late? _Ned._--I dare not say one word to her, but am glad she will let me go to bed and sleep quietly. _Harry._--What becomes of your children those days; who looks after them all this while? _Ned._--Nobody but a silly maid she hired who can do nothing; I am fain as well as I can, to boil them their milk for their suppers and help to get them to bed. _Harry._--Does not she ask when she comes home how her children do, and who gave them their suppers and got them to bed?