Americans -- England -- Fiction; Girls -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
We started with a sense of disappointment, which seemed to come in
through the windows and envelop the Bangley Coffins, because 'some
people' they had expected failed to appear upon the platform. Mr.
Bangley Coffin looked particularly depressed. 'Don't see how the deuce
we're going to arrange!' he said to Mrs. Bangley Coffin, with unction.
'Oh, there's sure to be somebody, Joey, love!' she returned, cheerfully;
'and in any case, you see, we have you.' To which Mr. Bangley Coffin
gave a dubious and indistinct assent. I did not get on well with Mr.
Bangley Coffin. He seemed to mean well, but he had a great many phrases
which I did not in the least understand, and to which he invariably
added, 'As you say in America.' It was never by any chance a thing we
did say in America, but nothing could make Mr. Bangley Coffin believe
that. I can't say that we had much general conversation either, but in
what there was I noticed great good-feeling between the Misses Bangley
Coffins and their mamma.
'The bonnet of that Israelite at the other end of the carriage would
suit you to a "T", mummie,' one of them remarked in joke. The bonnet was
a terrible affair, in four shades of heliotrope.
'Yes,' replied Mrs. Bangley Coffin, smiling quite good-naturedly;
'that's about my form.'
The Bangley Coffins were all form. Form, for them, regulated existence.
It was the all-compelling law of the spheres, the test of all human
action and desire. 'Good form' was the ultimate expression of their
respect, 'bad form' their final declaration of contempt. Perhaps I
should misjudge the Bangley Coffins if I said form was their conscience,
and I don't want to misjudge them--they were very pleasant to me. But I
don't think they would have cared to risk their eternal salvation upon
any religious tenets that were not entirely comme il faut--I mean the
ladies Bangley Coffin. The head of their house twisted his moustache and
seemed more or less indifferent.
There is no doubt that, in the end, we did get to Ascot, and left our
dust-cloaks in charge of that obliging middle-aged person who is to
be found in every ladies' waiting-room in England. There was some
discussion as to whether we should or should not leave our dust-cloaks
with her--they were obviously unbecoming, but, obviously also, it might
rain. However, in the end we did. Mrs. Bangley Coffin thought we might
trust to Providence, and Providence proved itself worthy of Mrs. Bangley
Coffin's confidence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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