An Amiable CharlatanOppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips)
General
An Amiable Charlatan
Oppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips)
Detective and mystery stories
By crossing a hotel yard, a fragment of kitchen garden and a bowling
green, we were able to come within a few yards of where Mr. Bundercombe,
with several other of Mr. Horrocks' supporters, was standing upon a small
raised platform. Two local tradesmen and one helper from London addressed
a few remarks of the usual sort to an apathetic audience, which was
rapidly increasing in size. It was only when Mr. Bundercombe rose to his
feet that the slightest sign of enthusiasm manifested itself. Eve looked
at me with a pleased smile.
"Just look at all of them," she whispered, "how they are hurrying to hear
dad speak!"
"That's all very well," I grumbled; "but he ought to be doing this for
me."
Her fingers pressed my arm.
"Listen!" she said.
Mr. Bundercombe's style was breezy and his jokes were frequent. He stood
in an easy attitude and spoke with remarkable fluency. His first few
remarks, which were mainly humorous, were cheered to the echo. The crowd
was increasing all the time. Presently he took them into his confidence.
"When I came down here a few days ago," we heard him say, "I came meaning
to support my friend, Mr. Walmsley." (Groans and cheers.) "That's all
right, boys!" Mr. Bundercombe continued, "there's nothing the matter with
Mr. Walmsley; but I come from a country where there's a bit more kick
about politics, and I pretty soon made up my mind that the kick wasn't on
the side my young friend belongs to.
"Now just listen to this: As one business man to another, I tell you that
I asked Mr. Walmsley, the first night I was here: 'What are you getting
out of this? Why are you going into Parliament?' He didn't seem to
understand. He pleaded guilty to a four-hundred-a-year fee, but told me at
the same time that it cost him a great deal more than that in extra
charities. I asked him what pull he got through being in Parliament and
how many of his friends he could find places for. All he could do was to
smile and tell me that I didn't understand the way things were done in
this country. He wanted to make me believe that he was anxious to sit in
Parliament there and work day after day just for the honor and glory of
it, or because he thought it was his duty.
"You know I'm an American business man, and that didn't cut any ice with
me; so I dropped in and had a chat with Mr. Horrocks. I soon came to the
conclusion that the candidate I'm here to support to-night is the man who
comes a bit nearer to our idea of practical politics over on the other
side of the pond. Mr. Horrocks doesn't make any bones about it. He wants
that four hundred a year; in fact he needs it!" (Ironical cheers.) "He
wants to call himself M.P. because when he goes out to lecture on
Socialism he'll get a ten-guinea fee instead of five, on account of those
two letters after his name.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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