"I have been tramping about the country," he wrote me, "living most of
the time in the parks. This life, where you 'travel by hand,' crowds out
consecutive meditation, but I like it because I can go away at the first
shadow of uneasiness betrayed on either side. My existence now is so
responsive and irresponsible that it comes very close to my heart. I am
living a life of contrasts: one week I spent with a rare friend who has
many good books and admires me for the thing for which all others
condemn me. Strange, is it not, that the one thing which redeems me in
his far-seeing eyes is what places me beyond redemption in the minds of
others. I have spent some sleepless nights in his fine home, kept awake
by the seductions of social life tugging at my heart-strings. So one
night I stole away from this seduction and slept with some drunken
hoboes in the tall soft grass, where I could have no doubt about being
welcome. I might as well doubt the grass as those pals, who without
question hailed me as an equal. I, having the only swell 'front,'
tackled a mansion, and the Irish servant-girl, to whom I told the truth,
gave me a whole hand-out in a basket, enough for all of us. My brother
hoboes swore I should be the travelling agent of the gang. But a copper
gave me the 'hot foot,' while I was 'pounding my ear' in the woods with
the other 'boes, so I straightened and hiked to the stock yards, where I
feel more at home with the Hibernians.
"Never have I seen Life more triumphant and rampant, more brimming over
with hope and defiant of all conditions, hygienic and otherwise. I am
rooming with an Irish family whose floor space is limited, so we all
have shake-downs, and in the morning can clear the decks for action with
no bedsteads in the way. I am very 'crummy,' badly flea-bitten, overrun
with bed bugs, somewhat fly-blown, but, redemption of it all, I am free
and always drunk. Still, I am really getting tired of playing the
knock-about comedian and shall soon 'hit the road.'
"I am willing to do anything for Marie I can, except to love her as I
once did, but never shall again. Even spirits die, and the spirit of the
salon is so dead that it is beyond resurrection."
Marie, however, would not believe that the spirit of the salon, or at
any rate, as much of that spirit as depended on the relation between her
and Terry, was dead; she was more conscious than Terry of the ups and
downs of the human nerves and heart and the ever-present possibility of
change, and she went to work in a wilful attempt to get back her lover.
Her next letter was a triumphant one:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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