An English Garner: Critical Essays & Literary Fragments
History
An English Garner: Critical Essays & Literary Fragments
English literature -- History and criticism
This is the subject of the present Controversy between us, which I design
to handle with all brevity, perspicuity, and calmness. In this dispute, I
am sensible the eyes, not only of England, but of all Europe will be upon
us: and the Learned in every country will, I doubt not, take part on that
side where they find most appearance of Reason and Truth.
Without entering into criticisms of Chronology about the hour of his
death, I shall only prove that _Mr. PARTRIDGE is not alive_.
And my first argument is thus. Above a thousand Gentlemen having bought
his _Almanack_ for this year, merely to find what he said against me: at
every line they read, they would lift up their eyes, and cry out, between
rage and laughter, _They were sure, no man alive ever wrote such stuff as
this!_ Neither did I ever hear that opinion disputed. So that Mr.
PARTRIDGE lieth under a dilemma, either of disowning his _Almanack_, or
allowing himself to be _no man alive_.
Death is defined by all Philosophers [as] a separation of the soul and
body. Now it is certain that the poor woman [_Mrs. PARTRIDGE_] who has
best reason to know, has gone about, for some time, to every alley in the
neighbourhood, and swore to her gossips that _her husband had neither life
nor soul in him_. Therefore, if an _uninformed_ Carcass walks still about
and is pleased to call itself PARTRIDGE; Mr. BICKERSTAFF doth not think
himself any way answerable for that! Neither had the said Carcass any
right to beat the poor boy, who happened to pass by it in the street,
crying _A full and true Account of Dr. PARTRIDGE's death, &c_.
SECONDLY. Mr. PARTRIDGE pretendeth to tell fortunes and recover stolen
goods, which all the parish says, he must do by conversing with the Devil
and other evil spirits: and no wise man will ever allow, he could converse
personally with either, until after he was dead.
THIRDLY. I will plainly prove him to be dead out of his own _Almanack_
for this year; and from the very passage which he produceth to make us
think him alive. He there sayeth, _He is not only_ now _alive, but was
also alive upon that very 29th of March, which I foretold he should die
on_. By this, he declareth his opinion that a man may be alive _now_, who
was not alive a twelve month ago. And, indeed, here lies the sophistry of
his argument. He dareth not assert he was alive _ever since the 29th of
March_! but that he is _now alive_, and _was so on that day_. I grant the
latter, for he did not die until night, as appeareth in a printed account
of his death, in a _Letter to a Lord_; and whether he be since revived, I
leave the World to judge! This indeed is perfect cavilling; and I am
ashamed to dwell any longer upon it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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