An essay on the government of children, under three general heads, viz. health, manners, and educationNelson, James
History
An essay on the government of children, under three general heads, viz. health, manners, and education
Nelson, James
Child rearing -- England -- History -- 18th century
I say not this as an Intimation to Parents, that they ought to throw
their Children wild and untaught into the World, far from it; on the
contrary, I am convinced how much they want to be fortified against it’s
Snares; and how nicely they ought to be conducted: but with reference to
the Matter in hand, I would fain make Parents sensible how irregular,
nay how unjust their Partiality usually is; particularly in banishing
Children from their Affections for not knowing what they have had no
Opportunity to learn. If then Parents really intend the Good of their
Children, they must with the utmost Resolution throw off all Partiality;
if not, ’tis more than probable it may greatly injure, or even undo,
a whole Family. The Darling is liable to be ruined thro’ Indulgence;
the rest, thro’ Neglect and Ignorance. Children, by this unequal
Treatment, conceive a Hatred to one another, and often to the Parents
themselves, which perhaps lasts as long as their Lives. But besides
that, this injurious Treatment debases their Minds, it is productive
of many dreadful Evils; for hence proceed, not only inveterate Malice,
but Confusion, Law-suits and Poverty; and hence too proceed rash,
precipitate, and disgraceful Marriages; with many other Calamities, which
it would require a Volume to enumerate.
Parents should by all Means consider, that every Child is equally the
Object of their Love and Care; and, by the Right of Nature, equally
demands their Protection. The Laws indeed, for the Support of Families
and Dignity, have, in some Cases, made an Inequality in the Distribution
of Fortune, which must be submitted to: still that does not take off from
the Obligation of Parents, nor justify a blind or whimsical Partiality.
There is no Topic I would more enforce than this, yet none more difficult
to prescribe Rules for. It is certain, that rewarding the good, and
punishing the bad, is both a Virtue, and a Duty; yet at the same time
that I acknowledge how much the good Child deserves, I cannot resolve to
abandon the bad: the Voice of Nature and Reason cry out loudly against
it. I will for once suppose Parents entirely divested of Partiality, and
that the Difference is really in the Children, and not in themselves. Are
they sure there are no Faults in their Education? Are they conscious that
they have not exposed them to be corrupted by others, tho’ they have not
done it themselves? Are they convinced those Acts of Disobedience which
their Children commit are the Effects of Malice prepense? or may they
not be rather the Sallies of thoughtless, giddy Youth? All these things
Parents must nicely weigh, before they carry their Resentment against a
Child to Extremes. Let Parents reflect, that a Boy whom they cannot now
controul, and whom perhaps they are going to expose to the capricious
Fury of the Seas, and deliver up to an Academy of Vice and Profaneness
in order to reform him, may be much sooner reclaimed by proper Pains and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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