They were sitting together out upon the terrace after dinner, and for a
time there was silence. His brother's arguments were too strong for the
young lord, and it was out of his power to deal with one so dogmatic.
But he did not forget the last words that had been spoken. It may be
that "I shall not be the man very long," he said at last.
"Any of us may die to-day or to-morrow," said Jack.
"I have a kind of presentiment,--not that I shall die, but that I shall
never see Scroope again. It seems as though I were certainly leaving for
ever a place that has always been distasteful to me."
"I never believe anything of presentiments."
"No; of course not. You're not that sort of fellow at all. But I am. I
can't think of myself as living here with a dozen old fogies about the
place all doing nothing, touching their hats, my-lording me at every
turn, looking respectable, but as idle as pickpockets."
"You'll have to do it."
"Perhaps I shall, but I don't think it." Then there was again silence
for a time. "The less said about it the better, but I know that I've got
a very difficult job before me in Ireland."
"I don't envy you, Fred;--not that."
"It is no use talking about it. It has got to be done, and the sooner
done the better. What I shall do when it is done, I have not the most
remote idea. Where I shall be living this day month I cannot guess. I
can only say one thing certainly, and that is that I shall not come back
here. There never was a fellow so loose about the world as I am."
It was terrible that a young man who had it in his power to do so much
good or so much evil should have had nothing to bind him to the better
course! There was the motto of his house, and the promises which he had
made to his uncle persuading him to that which was respectable and as he
thought dull; and opposed to those influences there was an unconquerable
feeling on his own part that he was altogether unfitted for the kind
of life that was expected of him. Joined to this there was the fact of
that unfortunate connection in Ireland from which he knew that it would
be base to fly, and which, as it seemed to him, made any attempt at
respectability impossible to him.
Early on the following morning, as he was preparing to start, his aunt
again sent for him. She came out to him in the sitting-room adjoining
her bedroom and there embraced him. Her eyes were red with weeping, and
her face wan with care. "Fred," she said; "dear Fred."
"Good-bye, aunt. The last word I have to say is that I implore you not
to leave Scroope as long as you are comfortable here."
"You will come back?"
"I cannot say anything certain about that."
She still had hold of him with both hands and was looking into his face
with loving, frightened, wistful eyes. "I know," she said, "that you
will be thinking of what passed between us yesterday."
"Certainly I shall remember it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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