I wandered from end to end of London day after day, reporting the events
which daily crop up in the Metropolis. It seemed to me as if those days
would never end. I saw nothing but the face of Eva. The world which
had seemed to me so beautiful had changed; Heaven was cruel. It created
loveliness only to pollute and deform it afterwards. Out of my dreams I
was brought face to face with facts that sickened me. The old landmarks
of my faith were gone. Whatever happy hopefulness of nature I possessed
was crushed. I was bewildered and sick at heart. Yet through it all I
could not thrust away from me Eva's wondrous beauty. Her form, her
gaze, her smile, her sigh--I could think of nothing else. Yet the
mockery of it all stung me to despair, and despair is man's most
frequent visitor.
A week thus passed. I saw her in the air, in the clouds, everywhere;
her voice rang in my ears; she was so lovely--and yet she was so vile--a
poisoner!
One afternoon I had returned to Gray's Inn unusually early, about three
o'clock, put on my old lounge-coat, a river "blazer," and sat down to
write up an interview for publication next day, when I heard a ring at
the door, voices outside the room, and a few moments later Mrs. Joad
entered, saying--"'Ere's a lady wants to see you, sir."
"A lady?" I exclaimed, turning quickly in my chair. "Ask her in."
I rose, brushing down my hair with my hand, and next moment found myself
face to face with Eva.
She advanced with her hand outstretched and a smile upon her face, that
countenance that was ever before me in my day-dreams.
"How fortunate I am to find you in," she exclaimed, half breathless
after the ascent of the stairs. "I've been to your office, and they
told me that you were probably at home."
"It is I who am fortunate," I answered, laughing gaily, placing the
armchair for her and drawing out a little oaken footstool, a relic from
some bygone generation of men who had tenanted those grimy old rooms.
With a sigh she seated herself, and then for the first time I noticed
the deathly pallor of her cheeks. Even her thick veil did not conceal
it. She was in black, neat as usual, but her skirt was unbrushed and
dusty, and her hair was just a trifle awry, as though she had been
travelling about some hours.
"I have called upon you here for the first and for the last time," she
said in a broken voice, looking seriously across to me, as the unwonted
tears sprang into her eyes.
"The last time!" I echoed. "What do you mean?"
"I have come to wish you farewell," she said in a low, faltering voice.
"I am leaving London. My mother and I are going abroad."
"Abroad? Where?" I cried, dismayed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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