people are always fertile in expedients, he determined to clinch the matter and so pulled the spigot out of the vinegar barrel. "Preserve us all! My vinegar!" cried Kurz, at the same time sticking the forefinger of his left hand into the hole in the vinegar barrel. In order to keep a finger in each of the barrels Kurz had to bend forward and to stretch out both arms to their utmost extent, and this Mr. Süssmann deemed too good an opportunity to be lost. "My chiefie!--Kurzie!"--slap!--"Good-bye grocerie-pocerie!"--slap! slap!--"Joanna goes, ne'er to come back again!"--slap, slap, slap!--Having done this, Mr. Süssmann picked his hat out of the herring barrel, set it on one side of his head, laid both the spigots on the counter about twenty feet away from Kurz, and then left the shop laughing and dancing. "_Help!_" cried Kurz. "He-lp!--He--lp!" but not one of the servants was in the house, and his wife was out in the back garden planting asparagus. The only person who heard him was uncle Bräsig. "Charles," he said, "I think I hear Kurz bellowing. I'll go and see if anything has happened."--"He-lp!" shouted Kurz.--"Bless me!" said Bräsig. "Whatever are you making such a noise for at seven o'clock in the morning?"--"Infamous rascal!" growled Kurz.--"What? Is that the way to treat me?" remonstrated Bräsig.--"Meanspirited hound!"--"You're a rude barbarian!"--"Give me the spigots that are lying on the counter over there."--"You may get your nasty greasy spigots yourself, you ass you!"--"I can't, or else all the oil and vinegar will run out of these casks, and I wasn't talking to you, I was speaking to Süssmann."--"Ah, then it doesn't matter," said Bräsig, seating himself on the counter with a flop, and swinging his legs about, "what's the matter?"--Kurz explained how he had come to be imprisoned at the barrels.--"Well, Kurz, you're a joke, but take warning by what has happened, a man always suffers in the very things which he has used sinfully."--"I entreat ...."--"Hush, Kurz! You have always sinned in your sales of oil and vinegar, for you used to pour out of your measuring tins into your customer's basins with a swoop so as to leave two or three desert spoonfuls in the measure without anyone noticing it. Will you give good measure for the future, and will you never peep into the cards again when you're playing at Boston."--"Yes, yes," cried Kurz.--"Very well then, I'll set you free," said Bräsig, bringing him the spigots.