An open verdict : $b a novel, volume 2 (of 3)Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
An open verdict : $b a novel, volume 2 (of 3)
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
WHILE the church bells were ringing daily in the tower above his head,
and the old Bridford chimes, famous long ago, were heralding the birth
of every hour with a fine old psalm tune that pealed out over the busy,
money-making city, like an echo of the past, Cyril Culverhouse was
lying at the bottom of a dark gulf of pain and confusion, and all the
outer world, and all the life that he had lived, were cancelled and
forgotten.
Strange images danced before his eyes like motes in the sunshine, yet
seemed to him neither strange nor unexpected. He had a history of his
own in that period of delirium, a new identity, new surroundings, a
mad, wild world, peopled out of his own brain. Bishops and archbishops
came and sat beside his bed, and held long arguments with him, figments
of a mind distraught, the shadows that haunt fever-dreams, but to
him intensely real. The dead came back to life to hold converse with
him, and he was not surprised. No, he had always thought there was
something in the ideas of the old necromancers. The elixir of life was
not an impossibility. Here was Luther with his square solid face, and
sensual humorous mouth. Here was Pascal, full of quaint sayings and
far-reaching thoughts. The sick man talked for all of them. His talk
was wildest raving to the ears that listened, but to his own fancy it
was profoundest wisdom. There is no egotism, no belief in self, equal
to that of the lunatic. For him the stars and moon have been made, for
him God willingly performs miracles which overthrow all the laws of the
universe. He is the axis of the world, and lets it go round.
How long those days and nights of fever were! That was the chief agony
of them. The eternity of hours, so thickly peopled with distorted
shapes that every quarter of an hour was an era. Of actual physical
pain the sufferer had no consciousness; but weariness, almost too heavy
to be borne weighed upon him in the long strange nights, when the
faces of his watchers changed, and the very walls of his room seemed
new and unknown to him. He fancied that his nurses had removed him into
new lodgings while he slept, though it seemed to him that he had never
slept.
Sometimes he fancied himself in one place, sometimes in another. He was
at Oxford, in those old rooms of his looking into the college garden.
He was at Little Yafford, at Culverhouse, anywhere but where he really
was.
And his nurses, who were they? He faintly remembered Mrs. Podmore
leaning over his bed, fat and scant of breath, with a medicine-glass in
her hand, coaxing him to drink. He remembered Sarah, making believe to
step softly, in creaking shoes, whose every movement was agony to him.
But these things were lost in the darkness of remote ages. His present
nurses seemed to have been tending him during a century.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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