An open verdict : $b a novel, volume 3 (of 3)Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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An open verdict : $b a novel, volume 3 (of 3)
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
‘Knowing what I know, knowing how happiness--the purest and
deepest--was within my reach, and that I let it go, knowing that the
bitterest miseries of my life were engendered in my own perverted
mind, knowing that I made the misery of the being I fondly loved--I
feel that I can no longer support the burden of a life without hope.
Every chain must wear out in time. Mine was worn to attenuation
before to-night--this last blow snaps it. To-morrow, when the world
wakes to its petty round of cares and joys, my troubles will be
over. You will find me as calm as if my life had been all peace.
Saint and sinner are equal in death.
‘God bless you, poor child. May He be kinder to you than your earthly
father has been. Love I could not give you--but the wealth which is
mine to bestow I give you freely. Take warning from my miserable
fate, and do not marry without the certainty that you are beloved.
Your fortune will mark you out as a prey for every adventurer.
‘Should there be an inquiry about my death you can show this letter
to the coroner. Should things pass, as, for your sake, I hope they
may, without comment, let these last words of mine be sacred, the one
only confidence I have ever given to my only child.
‘Enclosed you will find a statement from the principal of the convent
where your ill-used mother spent her last days. It may please you
some day to visit her grave in that lonely spot, and to weep there
for the injuries my love inflicted on her, as I have wept for her
this night, tears of blood, wrung from a heart tortured by vain
remorse.
‘Your erring, unhappy father,
‘CHRISTIAN HAREFIELD.’
‘Do you believe now that I did not murder my father?’ cried Beatrix,
turning to Cyril, with eyes that flashed indignant scorn through her
tears.
‘I never believed otherwise, after we met face to face in the
churchyard. I needed but to see you to know that you were innocent,
and pure, and true. My suspicion was a monster of my own growth--the
offspring of too much thought--and the fear that in winning your love
I should seem a worshipper of mammon. Beatrix, I have been weak and
despicable in this matter. My love should have been strong enough
to withstand even a harder trial. I confess myself unworthy of your
forgiveness, and yet I ask you to forgive me.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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