Love stories; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
His distrust touched her deeply, when she was giving him her
heart's best love, and her strong feeling caused her to falter as
she said, "Do you think I can grow cold towards the man who risked
his life for me?"
"That is exaggerated gratitude. Any decent man would risk his life
for you. Why, you were as brave as I. I often ask myself, can you
be a friend for my own sake, because of some inherent congeniality?
You have done more for your other friends than they for you, and
yet they are very dear to you, because you esteem them as men. I
covet a like personal regard, and I hope you will teach me to win
it."
"You have won it,--that is--"
"That is--? There is a mental reservation, or you are too truthful
for undoubted assurance when shown that gratitude has no place in
this relation."
She averted her face from his searching eyes, and was deeply
embarrassed.
"I feared it would be so," he said, sadly. "But I do not blame
you. On the contrary I honor your sincerity. Very well, I shall
be heartily glad of any regard that you can give me, and shall try
to be worthy of it."
"Mr. Merwyn," she said, impetuously, "no friend of mine receives a
stronger, better, or more sincere regard than I give you for your
own sake. There now, trust me as I trust you;" and she gave him
her hand.
He took it in his strong grasp, but she exclaimed, instantly: "You
are feverish. You are ill. I thought your eyes were unnaturally
bright."
"They should be so if it is in the power of happiness to kindle
them!"
"Come now," she cried, assuming a little brusqueness of manner which
became her well; "I've given you my word, and that's my bond. If
you indulge in any more doubts I'll find a way to punish you. I'll
take my 'affidavy' I'm just as good a friend to you as you are to
me. If you doubt me, I shall doubt you."
"I beg your pardon; no you won't, or cannot, rather. You know well
that I have my father's unchangeable tenacity. It's once and always
with me."
"You are speaking riddles," she faltered, averting her face.
"Not at all. I am glad indeed that you can give me simple friendship,
unforced, uncompelled by any other motive than that which actuates
you in regard to the others. But you know well--your most casual
glance would reveal it to you--that I, in whom you have inspired
some semblance of manhood, can never dream of any other woman. When
you see this truth, as you often will, you must not punish me for
it. You must not try to cure me by coldness or by any other of the
conventional remedies, for you cannot. When we meet, speak kindly,
look kindly; and should it ever be not best or right that we should
meet,--that is, often,--we shall not."
"You are scarcely speaking as a friend," she said, in a low voice.
"Will you punish me if I cannot help being far more?"
"No, since you cannot help it," she replied, with a shy laugh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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