So she put more peat and coal on her fire and lit a fresh candle;
removed her day clothing and wrapped herself in a large down cloak.
And the night was not cold for there was a southerly wind, and the
gulf stream embraces the Orkneys, giving them an abnormally warm
climate for their far-north latitude. And she had a passing wonder at
herself for these precautions. A year ago, a week ago, she would have
thrown herself upon her bed in passionate weeping or clung to her
mother and talked her sorrow away in her loving sympathy and advice.
But at this supreme hour of her life, she wanted to be alone. She
did not wish to talk about Ian with any one. She was wide awake,
quite sensible of the pain and grief at her heart, yet tearless
and calm. Never before had she felt that dignity of soul, which
looks straight into the face of its sorrow and feels itself equal
to the bearing of it. She had as yet no idea that during that
evening she had passed through that wonderful heart-experience,
which suddenly ripens girlhood into womanhood. Indeed, they will
be thoughtless girls--whatever their age--who can read this
sentence and not pause and recall that marvellous transition in their
own lives. To some it comes with a great joy, to others with a great
sorrow but it is always a fateful event, and girls should be ready
to meet and salute it.
As soon as Thora had made herself and her room comfortable, she sat
down and closed her eyes. All her life she had noticed that her mother
shut her eyes when she wanted to think. Now she did the same, and then
softly called Ian Macrae to the judgment of her heart and her inner
senses, but she did it as naturally as women equally ignorant have
done it in all ages, taking or refusing their advice or verdict as
directed by their dominant desire, or their reason or unreason.
With almost supernatural clearness she recalled his beautiful, yet
troubled face, his hesitating manner, his restlessness in his chair,
his nervous trifling with his watch chain or his finger ring. She
recalled the fact that his voice had in it a strange tone and that his
eyes reflected a soul fearful and angry. It was an unfamiliar Ian she
called up, but oh! if it could ever become a familiar one.
The first subject that pressed her for consideration was the suspicion
of gambling. Certainly Ian had promptly denied the charge. He had even
said that he never was in the gambling parlours but once, when he went
into them very early with the porter, to assure himself that some new
carpets asked for were really wanted. "Then," he added, "I found out
that the demand was made by one of the club members, who had a friend
who was a carpet manufacturer and expected to supply what was
considered necessary."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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