An Outcast; Or, Virtue and FaithAdams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)
General
An Outcast; Or, Virtue and Faith
Adams, F. Colburn (Francis Colburn)
Conduct of life -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Vice -- Fiction
"My conscience rebuked me," she resumes, as if indifferent about
answering the question, "for I loved the child as my own; and the friend
I lived with, and who followed the sea, printed on its right arm two
hearts and a broken anchor, which remain there now. My husband died of
the cholera, and the friend I had taken to, and who treated me kindly,
also died, and I soon found myself an abandoned woman, an outcast--yes,
ruined forever, and in the streets, leading a life that my own feelings
revolted at, but from which starvation only seemed the alternative. My
conscience rebuked me again and again, and something--I cannot tell what
it was--impelled me with an irresistible force to watch over the
fortunes of the child I knew must come to the same degraded life
necessity--perhaps it was my own false step--had forced upon me. I
watched her a child running neglected about the streets, then I saw her
sold to Hag Zogbaum, who lived in Pell street; I never lost sight of
her--no, I never lost sight of her, but fear of criminating myself kept
me from making myself known to her. When I had got old in vice, and
years had gone past, and she was on the first step to the vice she had
been educated to, we shared the same roof. Then she was known as Anna
Bonard--"
"Anna Bonard!" exclaims Madame Montford. "Then truly it is she who now
lives in Charleston! There is no longer a doubt. I may seek and claim
her, and return her to at least a life of comfort."
"There you will find her. Ah, many times have I looked upon her, and
thought if I could only save her, how happy I could die. I shared the
same roof with her in Charleston, and when I got sick she was kind to
me, and watched over me, and was full of gentleness, and wept over her
condition. She has sighed many a time, and said how she wished she knew
how she came into the world, to be forced to live despised by the world.
But I got down, down, down, from one step to another, one step to
another, as I had gone up from one step to another in the splendor of
vice, until I found myself, tortured in mind and body, a poor neglected
wretch in the Charleston Poor-house. In it I was treated worse than a
slave, left, sick and heart-broken, and uncared-for, to the preying of a
fever that destroyed my mind. And as if that were not enough, I was
carried into the dungeons--the 'mad cells,'--and chained. And this
struck such a feeling of terror into my soul that my reason, as they
said, was gone forever. But I got word to Anna, and she came to me, and
gave me clothes and many little things to comfort me, and got me out,
and gave me money to get back to New York, where I have been ever since,
haunted from place to place, with scarce a place to lay my head. Surely
I have suffered. Shall I be forgiven?" Her voice here falters, she
becomes weak, and seems sinking under the burden of her emotions.
"If,--if--if," she mutters, incoherently, "you can save me, and forgive
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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