Communism -- Hungary; Hungary -- History -- Revolution, 1918-1919 -- Personal narratives; Tormay, Cécile, 1876-1937 -- Diaries
Beyond, above the shingled roof of the manor-house, two morose old firs
rose towards heaven, their lowest branches touching the young grass. The
house with its pillars reminded me of the old garden in Algyest which
was my childhood’s delight. But here the soldiers had trampled down the
grass of the lawn, and the heavy munition waggons had cut deep ruts in
the road. Near the gate where the soldiers were, crumpled paper and
broken bottles were lying about. But behind the house, on the other
side, the garden was practically untouched, and amidst the young
awakening of Spring it was beautiful in its wild tangle of growth.
A door opened and an old lady came towards us. She had scarcely looked
at me when she said: “You did well, child, to come to me.”
She had scarcely looked at me! This was Hungary indeed—the old,
hospitable Hungary which to-day is forbidden by the immigrants!...
“Anyone receiving a visitor in his house will be summoned before the
Revolutionary Tribunal....”
The overgrown garden peeped in through the grated window; the trees were
covered with moss, and old stone seats lined the path. Here was peace.
The path was over-run with grass and my feet left no mark on it. I can
stop here, even I to whom rest has been so long denied. No search will
be made for me here, and I shall be able to sleep at night. There will
be no knockings at my window, my dreams will not be haunted by the sound
of cartwheels, the ringing of bells, the tramping of feet....
* * * * *
Szügy, _April 28th_.
The sun shone into the room; its rays rested on the old furniture and
travelled on with soundless steps. Mrs. Beniczky, who was sitting at the
writing table, turned now and then towards me and spoke in a low voice,
cautiously, for listening ears are everywhere. She inquired about my
family, for she had known the Földvárys in other days. My answers became
more and more confused. Later on she began to talk of the
Counter-revolution and mentioned my name, my real name, spoke of me, of
my real self. The blood rushed to my face: she must have thought I had
not heard her, for she repeated her question: “Do you know what happened
to Cécile Tormay? My daughter met her last winter.”
“They say she has escaped to Switzerland....” How ashamed of myself I
felt! I had stolen into this house under a false name, with false
credentials. I had asked my hostess for shelter, though I knew it meant
danger to her. I hated myself, and it was on the tip of my tongue to
tell her the truth. Oh, why could she not see that I was deceiving her,
she who received me with the words: “You have done well, child, to come
to me.”
We were three at dinner: a visitor had come from Balassagyarmat to see
Mrs. Beniczky. We talked of books, and the guest, who had no more notion
of my identity than our hostess, mentioned _The Old House_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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