An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
Once upon a time there lived a very poor middle aged couple on the
outskirts of a great and magnificent city. Early in the morning the man
used to set out to the city and return home in the evening with a few
odd annas earned by picking up small jobs in the warehouses of wealthy
merchants. One fine morning, being lazier than usual, he remained in
bed with his eyes closed though fully awake, and furtively watched the
proceedings of his wife during her toilette. When she was completely
satisfied with her performance the man pretended to wake up as though
from a deep sleep and addressed his wife, “you know, my dear, of late I
have been feeling that some strange power has been granted to me by the
gracious nats who preside over our destinies. To illustrate my point,
you saw just now that I was fast asleep, and yet, would you believe it,
I know exactly what you were doing a little while ago from the time you
rose from your bed up till the present moment,” and proceeded to tell
her all she did at her toilette. As may be imagined, his wife was quite
astonished at this feat, and womanlike, she began to see in this power
the means to a profitable living.
Just about this time the kingdom became greatly distracted by a
series of daring thefts which took place both by day and night.
All efforts made by the authorities to capture the culprits proved
useless. At length the king became seriously alarmed for the safety of
his treasures, and in order to afford better protection he redoubled
the guards round the palace. But in spite of all this precaution the
thieves entered the palace one night and succeeded in carrying away a
large quantity of gold, silver and precious stones.
On the following morning the king issued a proclamation to the effect
that a thousand gold mohurs would be given as a reward to the person
who could either capture the thieves or restore the stolen property. So
without consulting her husband in whom she had absolute faith, she went
off to the palace and informed the king that her husband was a great
astrologer and that it would be quite easy for him to find the lost
treasures. The king’s heart was filled with gladness on receiving this
information. He told the good woman that if her husband could do all
that she promised, further honours and rewards would be heaped upon him.
When the woman returned home she joyfully related to her husband the
details of her interview with the king. “What have you done, you silly
fool?” shouted the man with mingled astonishment and alarm. “The other
day when I spoke to you about my powers I was merely imposing upon you.
I am neither an astrologer nor a diviner. It will be impossible for me
to find the lost property. By your silly act you have not only brought
disgrace upon us but you have also imperilled our lives. I don’t care
what happens to you; I only know that I am going to commit suicide this
very day.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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