An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
A woman there was which had had iiii husbandys. It fourtuned also that
this fourth husbande dyed and was brought to chyrche upon the bere;
whom this woman folowed and made great mone, and waxed very sory,
in so moche that her neyghbours thought she wolde swown and dye for
sorow. Wherfore one of her gosseps cam to her, and spake to her in
her ere, and bad her, for Godds sake, comfort her self and refrayne
that lamentacion, or ellys it wold hurt her and peraventure put her in
jeopardy of her life. To whom this woman answeryd and sayd: I wys, good
gosyp, I have grete cause to morne, if ye knew all. For I have beryed
iii husbandes besyde this man; but I was never in the case that I am
now. For there was not one of them but when that I folowed the corse to
chyrch, yet I was sure of an nother husband, before the corse cam out
of my house, and now I am sure of no nother husband; and therfore ye
may be sure I have great cause to be sad and hevy.
By thys tale ye may se that the olde proverbe ys trew, that it is as
great pyte to se a woman wepe as a gose to go barefote.
A C. MERY TALYS
_OF THE MERCHAUNTE OF LONDON THAT DYD PUT NOBLES IN HIS MOUTHE IN HYS
DETHE BEDDE_
A ryche covetous marchant there was that dwellid in London, which
ever gaderyd mony and could never fynd in hys hert to spend ought
_upon_ hym selfe nor upon no man els. Whiche fell sore syke, and
as he laye on hys deth bed had his purs lyenge at his beddys hede, and
[he] had suche a love to his money that he put his hande in his purs,
and toke out thereof x or xii li. in nobles and put them in his mouth.
And because his wyfe and other perceyved hym very syke and lyke to dye,
they exortyd hym to be confessyd, and brought the curate unto hym.
Which when they had caused him to say Benedicite, the curate bad hym
crye God mercy and shewe to hym his synnes. Than this seyck man began
to sey: I crey God mercy I have offendyd in the vii dedly synnes and
broken the x commaundementes; but because of the gold in his mouth he
muffled so in his speche, that the curate could not well understande
hym: wherfore the curat askyd hym, what he had in his mouthe that
letted his spech. I wys, mayster parsone, quod the syke man,
muffelynge, I have nothyng in my mouthe but a lyttle money; bycause I
wot not whither I shal go, I thought I wold take some spendynge money
with me: for I wot not what nede I shall have therof; and incontynent
after that sayeng dyed, before he was confessyd or repentant that any
man coulde perceyve, and so by lyklyhod went to the devyll.
By this tale ye may se, that they that all theyr lyves wyll never do
charyte to theyr neghbours, that God in tyme of theyr dethe wyll not
suffre them to have grace of repentaunce.
_OF THE SCOLER OF OXFORDE THAT PROVED BY SOVESTRY II CHYKENS III_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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