_Vadius._ My pen will teach you what soft of man I am! _Trissotin._ And mine will make you know your master! _Vadius._ I defy you in verse, prose, Greek, and Latin! _Trissotin._ Very well, we shall meet again at the bookseller’s! _FROM “THE GENTLEMAN CIT”_ _Professor of Philosophy._ I will thoroughly explain all these curiosities to you. _M. Jourdain._ Pray do. And now I want to entrust you with a great secret. I am in love with a lady of quality, and I should be glad if you would help me to write something to her in a short letter which I mean to drop at her feet. _Professor of Philosophy._ Very well. _M. Jourdain._ That will be gallant, will it not? _Professor of Philosophy._ Undoubtedly. Is it verse you wish to write to her? _M. Jourdain._ Oh, no, not verse. _Professor of Philosophy._ You only wish for prose? _M. Jourdain._ No, I wish neither verse nor prose. _Professor of Philosophy._ It must be one or the other. _M. Jourdain._ Why? _Professor of Philosophy._ Because, sir, there is nothing by which we can express ourselves except prose or verse. _M. Jourdain._ There is nothing but prose or verse? _Professor of Philosophy._ No, sir. Whatever is not prose is verse, and whatever is not verse is prose. _M. Jourdain._ And when we speak, what is that, then? _Professor of Philosophy._ Prose. _M. Jourdain._ What! when I say, “Nicole, bring me my slippers, and give me my night-cap,” is that prose? _Professor of Philosophy._ Yes, sir. _M. Jourdain._ Upon my word, I have been talking prose these forty years without being aware of it! I am under the greatest obligation to you for informing me. Well, then, I wish to write to her in a letter, _Fair marchioness, your beautiful eyes make me die of love!_ but I would have this worded in a genteel manner, and turned prettily. _Professor of Philosophy._ Say that the fire of her eyes has reduced your heart to ashes; that you suffer day and night for her tortures---- _M. Jourdain._ No, no, no; I don’t want any of that. I simply wish to say what I tell you: _Fair marchioness, your beautiful eyes make me die of love_. _Professor of Philosophy._ Still, you might amplify the thing a little? _M. Jourdain._ No, I tell you, I will have nothing but those very words in the letter; but they must be put in a fashionable way, and arranged as they should be. Pray explain a little, so that I may see the different ways in which they can be put. _Professor of Philosophy._ They may be put, first of all, as you have said, _Fair marchioness, your beautiful eyes make me die of love_; or else, _Of love die make me, fair marchioness, your beautiful eyes_; or, _Your beautiful eyes of love make me, fair marchioness, die_; or, _Die of love your beautiful eyes, fair marchioness, make me_; or else, _Me make your beautiful eyes die, fair marchioness, of love_. _M. Jourdain._ But of all these ways, which is the best?