We little thought, as the saying is, that after so many dainties we had another hill to climb; for the table being uncovered to a flourish of music, three muzzled white hogs were brought in, with bells hanging on their necks. The man leading them said one was two years old, the other three, and the last full grown. For my part, I took them for acrobats, and imagined the hogs were to perform some of the surprising feats practised at the circus. But Trimalchio broke in upon our expectation by asking us, “Which of these will you have dressed for supper? Cocks and pheasants are country fare, but my cooks have pans in which a calf can be roasted whole.” And immediately commanding a cook to be called, Trimalchio, without waiting for our choice, bade him kill the largest. He then inquired of the cook how he came by him saying, “Were you bought, or were you born in my house?” “Neither,” replied the cook, “but left you by Pansa’s testament.” “Then see to it,” answered Trimalchio, “that this beast is prepared quickly, or I shall make you serve my footmen.” ... While our host was talking on, an overgrown hog was brought to table. We all wondered at the expedition which had been used, swearing a capon could not have been dressed in that time; and what increased our surprise was that this hog seemed larger than the boar which had been set before us. Trimalchio, after gazing steadfastly upon him, exclaimed, “What! have his entrails not been taken out? No, by Hercules, they have not! Bring in that rogue of a cook!” The cook, being dragged in before us, hung his head, excusing himself that he had forgotten. “Forgotten!” roared his master. “Strip the rascal! Strip him!” The poor man was stripped forthwith, and placed between two tormentors. We all interceded for him, alleging that such an error might occasionally happen, and therefore desired his pardon, protesting we would never speak for him if he repeated the same offense. I thought he richly deserved his fate, and could not forbear whispering to Agamemnon, “This must certainly be a most careless rascal. How could any one forget to disembowel a hog? I would not have forgiven him, by Hercules, had he thus served up a dish for me!” Our host, resuming a pleasant look, said, “Come, now, you with the short memory, let us see if you can disembowel the animal before us.” Upon which the cook, having put his garments on again, took his knife, and with a trembling hand slashed the hog on both sides of the belly, when out tumbled a load of hog’s-puddings and sausages....