An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
A certain simple fellow was once going along, haling his ass after
him by the halter, when a couple of sharpers saw him and one said to
his fellow, “I will take that ass from yonder man.” “How wilt thou do
that?” asked the other. “Follow me and I will show thee,” replied the
first. So he went up to the ass and loosing it from the halter, gave
the beast to his fellow; then clapped the halter on his own head and
followed the simpleton, till he knew that the other had got clean off
with the ass when he stood still. The man pulled at the halter, but the
thief stirred not; so he turned and seeing the halter on a man’s neck,
said to him, “Who art thou?” Quoth the sharper, “I am thine ass and my
story is a strange one. Know that I have a pious old mother and came
in to her one day, drunk; and she said to me, “O my son, repent to God
the Most High of these thy transgressions.” But I took the cudgel and
beat her, whereupon she cursed me and God the Most High changed me into
an ass and caused me fall into thy hands, where I have remained till
now. However, today, my mother called me to mind and her heart relented
towards me; so she prayed for me, and God restored me to my former
shape of a man.” “There is no power and no virtue but in God the Most
High, the Supreme!” cried the simpleton. “O my brother, I conjure thee
by Allah acquit me of what I have done with thee in the way of riding
and so forth.”
Then he let the sharper go and returned home, drunken with chagrin and
concern. His wife asked him, “What ails thee and where is the ass?”
And he answered, “Thou knowest not what was this ass; but I will tell
thee.” So he told her the story, and she exclaimed, “Woe worth us
for God the Most High! How could we have used a man as a beast of
burden, all this while?” And she gave alms and asked pardon of God.
Then the man abode awhile at home, idle, till she said to him, “How
long wilt thou sit at home, idle? Go to the market and buy us an ass
and do thy business with it.” Accordingly, he went to the market and
stopping by the ass-stand, saw his own ass for sale. So he went up to
it and clapping his mouth to its ear, said to it, “Out on thee, thou
good-for-nought! Doubtless thou hast been getting drunk again and
beating thy mother! But, by Allah, I will never buy thee more!” And he
left it and went away.
_THE THIEF TURNED MERCHANT AND THE OTHER THIEF_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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