An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
History
An outline of humor: Being a true chronicle from prehistoric ages to the twentieth century
Wit and humor
Bakbarah at length yielded to the old woman’s arguments, and without
saying another word, he suffered the slave to conduct him to an
apartment, where they painted his eyebrows red. They shaved his
mustachios, and were absolutely going to shave his beard. But the
easiness of my brother’s tempter did not carry him quite so far as to
suffer that. “Not a single stroke,” he exclaimed, “shall you take at
my beard!” The slave represented to him that it was of no use to have
cut off his mustachios if he would not also agree to lose his beard;
that a hairy countenance did not at all coincide with the dress of a
woman; and that she was astonished that a man, who was on the very
point of possessing the most beautiful woman in Bagdad, should care for
his beard. The old woman also joined with the slave, and added fresh
reasons; she threatened my brother with being quite in disgrace with
her mistress. In short, she said so much that he at last permitted them
to do what they wished.
As soon as they had dressed him like a woman, they brought him back
to the young lady, who burst into so violent a fit of laughter at the
sight of him, that she fell down on the sofa on which she was sitting.
The slaves all began to clap their hands, so that my brother was put
quite out of countenance. The young lady then got up, and continuing
to laugh all the time, said, “After the complaisance you have shown to
me, I should be guilty of a crime not to bestow my whole heart upon
you; but it is necessary that you should do one thing more for love
of me: it is only to dance before me as you are.” He obeyed; and the
young lady and the slaves danced with him, laughing all the while as if
they were crazy. After they had danced for some time, they all threw
themselves upon the poor wretch, and gave him so many blows, both with
their hands and feet, that he fell down almost fainting. The old woman
came to his assistance, and without giving him time to be angry at such
ill treatment, she whispered in his ear, “Console yourself, for you
are now arrived at the conclusion of your sufferings, and are about
to receive the reward for them. You have only one thing more to do,”
added she, “and that is a mere trifle. You must know that my mistress
makes it her custom, whenever she has drunk a little, as she has done
to-day, not to suffer anyone she loves to come near her, unless they
are stripped to their shirt. When they are in this situation, she takes
advantage of a short distance, and begins running before them through
the gallery, and from room to room, till they have caught her. This is
one of her fancies. Now, at whatever distance from you she may start,
you, who are so light and active, can easily overtake her. Undress
yourself quickly, therefore, and remain in your shirt, and do not make
any difficulty about it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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