Now headache is an affection which affords infinite resources to a
woman. This malady, which is the easiest of all to feign, for it is
destitute of any apparent symptom, merely obliges her to say: “I have a
headache.” A woman trifles with you and there is no one in the world
who can contradict her skull, whose impenetrable bones defy touch or
ocular test. Moreover, headache is, in our opinion, the queen of
maladies, the pleasantest and the most terrible weapon employed by
wives against their husbands. There are some coarse and violent men who
have been taught the tricks of women by their mistresses, in the happy
hours of their celibacy, and so flatter themselves that they are never
to be caught by this vulgar trap. But all their efforts, all their
arguments end by being vanquished before the magic of these words: “I
have a headache.” If a husband complains, or ventures on a reproach, if
he tries to resist the power of this _Il buondo cani_ of marriage, he
is lost.
Imagine a young woman, voluptuously lying on a divan, her head softly
supported by a cushion, one hand hanging down; on a small table close
at hand is her glass of lime-water. Now place by her side a burly
husband. He has made five or six turns round the room; but each time he
has turned on his heels to begin his walk all over again, the little
invalid has made a slight movement of her eyebrows in a vain attempt to
remind him that the slightest noise fatigues her. At last he musters
all his courage and utters a protest against her pretended malady, in
the bold phrase:
“And have you really a headache?”
At these words the young woman slightly raises her languid head, lifts
an arm, which feebly falls back again upon her divan, raises her eyes
to the ceiling, raises all that she has power to raise; then darting at
you a leaden glance, she says in a voice of remarkable feebleness:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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