How many thank-offerings ought we to make to the kind and beneficent
spirit that breathes in all things here below! Indeed, the care which
nature takes to strip us piece by piece of our raiment, to unclothe the
soul by enfeebling gradually our hearing, sight, and sense of touch, in
making slower the circulation of our blood, and congealing our humors
so as to make us as insensible to the approach of death as we were to
the beginnings of life, this maternal care which she lavishes on our
frail tabernacle of clay, she also exhibits in regard to the emotions
of man, and to the double existence which is created by conjugal love.
She first sends us Confidence, which with extended hand and open heart
says to us: “Behold, I am thine forever!” Lukewarmness follows, walking
with languid tread, turning aside her blonde face with a yawn, like a
young widow obliged to listen to the minister of state who is ready to
sign for her a pension warrant. Then Indifference comes; she stretches
herself on the divan, taking no care to draw down the skirts of her
robe which Desire but now lifted so chastely and so eagerly. She casts
a glance upon the nuptial bed, with modesty and without shamelessness;
and, if she longs for anything, it is for the green fruit that calls up
again to life the dulled papillae with which her blase palate is
bestrewn. Finally the philosophical Experience of Life presents
herself, with careworn and disdainful brow, pointing with her finger to
the results, and not the causes of life’s incidents; to the tranquil
victory, not to the tempestuous combat. She reckons up the arrearages,
with farmers, and calculates the dowry of a child. She materializes
everything. By a touch of her wand, life becomes solid and springless;
of yore, all was fluid, now it is crystallized into rock. Delight no
longer exists for our hearts, it has received its sentence, ’twas but
mere sensation, a passing paroxysm. What the soul desires to-day is a
condition of fixity; and happiness alone is permanent, and consists in
absolute tranquillity, in the regularity with which eating and sleeping
succeed each other, and the sluggish organs perform their functions.
“This is horrible!” I cried; “I am young and full of life! Perish all
the books in the world rather than my illusions should perish!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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