You alone have the right to bring these joys to an end by throwing away
your night-cap as you twist up your napkin after dinner, and by sitting
up in bed. Then you take yourself to task with such reproaches as
these: “Ah, mercy on me, I must get up!” “Early to bed and early to
rise, makes a man healthy—!” “Get up, lazy bones!”
All this time you remain perfectly tranquil. You look round your
chamber, you collect your wits together. Finally, you emerge from the
bed, spontaneously! Courageously! of your own accord! You go to the
fireplace, you consult the most obliging of timepieces, you utter
hopeful sentences thus couched: “Whatshisname is a lazy creature, I
guess I shall find him in. I’ll run. I’ll catch him if he’s gone. He’s
sure to wait for me. There is a quarter of an hour’s grace in all
appointments, even between debtor and creditor.”
You put on your boots with fury, you dress yourself as if you were
afraid of being caught half-dressed, you have the delight of being in a
hurry, you call your buttons into action, you finally go out like a
conqueror, whistling, brandishing your cane, pricking up your ears and
breaking into a canter.
After all, you say to yourself, you are responsible to no one, you are
your own master!
But you, poor married man, you were stupid enough to say to your wife,
“To-morrow, my dear” (sometimes she knows it two days beforehand), “I
have got to get up early.” Unfortunate Adolphe, you have especially
proved the importance of this appointment: “It’s to—and to—and above
all to—in short to—”
Two hours before dawn, Caroline wakes you up gently and says to you
softly: “Adolphy dear, Adolphy love!”
“What’s the matter? Fire?”
“No, go to sleep again, I’ve made a mistake; but the hour hand was on
it, any way! It’s only four, you can sleep two hours more.”
Is not telling a man, “You’ve only got two hours to sleep,” the same
thing, on a small scale, as saying to a criminal, “It’s five in the
morning, the ceremony will be performed at half-past seven”? Such sleep
is troubled by an idea dressed in grey and furnished with wings, which
comes and flaps, like a bat, upon the windows of your brain.
A woman in a case like this is as exact as a devil coming to claim a
soul he has purchased. When the clock strikes five, your wife’s voice,
too well known, alas! resounds in your ear; she accompanies the stroke,
and says with an atrocious calmness, “Adolphe, it’s five o’clock, get
up, dear.”
“Ye-e-e-s, ah-h-h-h!”
“Adolphe, you’ll be late for your business, you said so yourself.”
“Ah-h-h-h, ye-e-e-e-s.” You turn over in despair.
“Come, come, love. I got everything ready last night; now you must, my
dear; do you want to miss him? There, up, I say; it’s broad daylight.”
Caroline throws off the blankets and gets up: she wants to show you
that _she_ can rise without making a fuss. She opens the blinds, she
lets in the sun, the morning air, the noise of the street, and then
comes back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account