Anastasia: The autobiography of H.I.H. the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicholaevna of RussiaSmith, Eugenia
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Anastasia: The autobiography of H.I.H. the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicholaevna of Russia
Smith, Eugenia
Anastasiia Nikolaevna, Grand Duchess, daughter of Nicholas II, Emperor of Russia, 1901-1918
Was there no end to my tortures? I was so near to a little truth, then
to lose it forever. Tatiana. What could have happened that she did not
come through ... as I had. Together we might have found something to
live for. That man ... who could he be? He had the same kind of accent
as the woman. From what I had heard him say, it did not seem as if
he had been one of the actual rescuers. He spoke as if he had heard
through someone else; as if he were connected with the rescuers in some
manner. He, too, was frightened, all because of me. Had they saved me
for a humane reason or had they stolen my body to rob it and finding me
alive thought it safer to nurse me back to health than to dispose of me?
For the first time I began to observe my surroundings. The place was
tiny with a ceiling so low a good-sized person standing could easily
touch the ceiling with his head. The width and length seemed about nine
by ten feet. All four walls were of dirt with little roots protruding.
The floor was also plain earth, covered by a braided oval straw mat
extending from my bed almost to the ladder. Now I could see plainly
about what I had first taken to be my unsealed grave. Close to the
ceiling was a small window, a dirt-stained pane of glass about five by
eight inches which let almost no light through. I was lying on an army
cot. On the opposite wall was a wooden ladder leading to the trap door.
To the right of the ladder was a wooden bench covered with blankets,
which looked as if it had been used as a bed. Beside me was a small
marble-topped table with a drawer. A small candle on the table lighted
the room. A chair was the only other object in my dugout.
The question came to my mind, what had become of my clothes--my white
blouse, gray plaid skirt? Now I was clad in a white cotton nightdress,
much too large for my frail body. It probably belonged to this woman.
And where were my shoes? Had the man discovered the precious stones
in the heels? Had they found the other stones which were sewn in my
clothes, especially inside the buttons? We sisters had some money in
the belts of our skirts. What had become of all that?
They could have everything if only they would tell me about Tatiana.
The man knew why she had not come through, and so did the woman, yet
they would not talk to me. The man thought I could be moved, but he
soon discovered I could not stand on my feet. The woman’s hand was on
my covers; then I felt sudden warmth in my shivering body. The stone
was back, good and hot, nicely wrapped. I curled around it.
Gradually my body marched on toward recovery; my head had ceased to
throb. I could turn it easily. Immediately the woman sensed this
progress and removed the bandages. My wounds were less painful. Again
with her uncanny insight into my condition, she placed the pillow
behind me and sat me up in bed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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